title: Bad bad mood
date: Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Okay , i'm having mood swings now .
So F-ing pissed with what my mum told me just now . Since you want acknowledge him as your god-son , then forget about me as your daughter . Happy ?
i hate it when outsiders trying to step into my family . Fuck man .
& i'm seriously not in good mood . zzz !
title: Happy Birthday Dakorh
date: Tuesday, February 9, 2010
today's my Dakorh's birthday (:
so ... Happy birthday , DaKorh !
DaSao cooked dinner for all for us . Kinda rare for us to eat together .
after eating cut cake (:
& gave da korh a birthday hug .
haaaas , its the first hug i given him all these years .
alright , nights blog !
title:
date: Saturday, February 6, 2010
alrights , i'm back posting .
was on mc from tuesday to thursday . that damn sore eye ):
went to school on friday . nearly fainted on train . it had been so long i encounter this .
was feeling so unwell for the rest of the day .
ytd , painted 3/4 of our room . wahahahs . that's the first time painting .
today afternoon wake up & continued painting , clearing the room again . so tiring .
grrrrrrrr. must wait until monday to watch my
下一站, 幸福 ep 19 i want mucheng and ren guang xi faster patch things up ! hahas , of course will in the end .
& xiao le is so cute !
after so long , there's a show that makes me cry like freeflow . ahahas .
smile like an idiot . lols .
i want to buy the disc . but i go check le , only vol 1 with 9 episodes only ):
終極三國 is getting more & more exciting . ep 50 le ~ kekekes . getting addicted over taiwan show .
went to eat ichiban sushi with erjie , her bf & didi . eat until super full .
came home & play mahjong with didi , erkorh & his friends .
alright , Eileen feels that she have to stop mahjong for a year . LOL .
i'm super in love with Vaness Wu !
hahas . shall end this post with his photo !
title: happy post
date: Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Alright , this gonna be a happy post after so long :D
had a gathering over at ahma's place with family ( which means the 6 siblings w dad & w/o the presence of the china woman ) after 2 years plus . (:
finally see da jie after she returned from USA . 2 years without her .
this is the epic part of our siblings ; 3 males , 3 females . ( not inclusive of that woman's daughters )
3 left hander , 3 right hander (:
we often fight with each other on dinning table with our chopsticks :X
when a left hander sitting on the right of the right hander , there's bound to be chopstick fight .
at first , i was sitting next to er jie , then didi sat next to me , had a fight , so changed our place , and da korh sat to me again -.- fighted & changed our place again . we used to have a rule since young , left hander & right hander have to seat at different side of the table . LOL .
& its been a long time since just only the children with dad . really kinda miss those moments .
though , happy moments dont last . but i'm already happy & contented .
the warmth like finally rekindled .
it was a happy moment for me & didi . but was wondering , was dad feeling the same ?
Eileen was in high spirit today so she did quite alot of houseworks , vacuuming the floor , tidying the room , washing toilets , changed the light bulb & wipe the lights casing . wahahahas . painting of room this weekend !
& i'm very sad , cause my sore eyes T.T irritating & painful ~ swollen like goldfish )':
tmr might be finally visiting a doctor .
because when i go school today , alot ppl saying , nagging , scolding me ): asking me to see doctor , stay home & dont go school harm others T_T . go school study also wrong , LOL .
alrights , my eyes couldnt stand any longer , so i'm off to bed soon ~ night night peepos ! kekes .
title: Thoughts
date: Sunday, January 31, 2010
Most of the time , i'm always running a thought in my mind . & i think alot .
Well right now , i'm thinking about the past .
What should had been done , what should never be done . What should be treasure & what should be held onto . What not to . But well , its too late .
What i could do now , is learn from the mistakes , never repeat it again .
The biggest Mistake & Regret was meeting such a guy like him .
Bastard , Liar , Idiot , Petty , Thickskin are the terms for him .
To think , i could actually tolerate with him when he zao sai me for 3 times & his repeated lies .
Which girl could tolerate ? Only such a stupid , retarded girl like me would .
Most of the time , i'm the one paying . paying his bills , paying his NEA fine , etc . Doing things that guys should do . To save his pride , i would always pass the money to him and ask him pay . I felt more idiotic .
and whenever i look back , i Hate it & him .
And always denying for the wrong things he did . Always causing others to worry & trouble .
Yet , I stood by him most of the time .
What right does he have to say he love me ? Pui , it just makes me wanna puke .
I'm just blinded at the time .
Acting innocent , when he knew what he did . I know what he did . Its just that i kept silent & walked away , cannot even be bothered to explain why i did that anymore .
Telling people other side of the story , trying to sound & look like you are pathetic .
Always pushing away your blames to others .
Talks without thinking , acts like one . Its just so tiring . & i'm glad that i left earlier .
I didnt even feel a bit of pain that moment I made up my decisions , instead I felt much more happier being without him .
Still dare to call me and ask this & that . I dont need you to care . I dont want to have anything that got to do with you anymore . So please kindly , step out of my life . & you know , i Hated you so much . This may sound rather harsh , but i'm happy as i finally found the courage to type all these . I dont see the point , helping you cover up what type of guy you are . I've really never came across any guy that is as think skin as him (:
Next , Parents .
the greatest weakness of most humans is their hesistancy to tell others how much they love them . That's my weakness too . Saying forgive might be easy for just verbally . But saying it from the bottom of the heart is quite a big challenge . But , i love challenges . & i just wanna say , ' Dad , i forgive the unforgivable injuries you inflicted on me .' I've accepted the facts that 'time would never rewind' , though that was a belief for me during those dark days . But , i walked out of that box . It was so tiring back then . I really felt so relieved now .
Past can never be rewind or replay .
You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.
But , thanks to those past which makes me stronger .
For now , i just wanna be a good girl that i'm supposed to be . Just wanna get good results & get over and done with studying . & treasure the things around me right now like friends & siblings .
not into any relationship because i find my heart being surrounded by walls . it gonna get lonely but well , still able to survive :D
The world is just so fake .
& thanks to all the people who hurt me , because i grow alot more .
