♥ 15032010

人：很容易写，但是很难做。

2012-01-18T03:05:00.000+08:00

First of all, a happy new year!
Sorry for neglecting my blog :/
Wellwell, just a short update!
Gotten my results, not that fabulous but am contented with it!
Surprised me when so many relatives & friends are concern about me, Appreciated much!
Life's hectic, busy working, busy with family stuffs.
Er kor's Rom last month, & Dajie's wedding on the 7th!
Had numerous occasions with dear family members that brought us closer!
Am thankful for that, for everyone's coorperation!
<3 my dear family!
Dad's pleased with my result. Finally able to make him proud. & hehe, i got my reward too!
For the past 17 days of this new year, i am happy. But how long will this happiness last, may i ask?
Hopefully, i'm able to get into the course of my choice!
Shopped for CNY clothes & some new clothes for poly too!
Feels good to be splurging, with your hard earned money. However, the heart aches follows. Haha!
Feels good when i gave mum money & brought her out to eat.
& within 3 days when i collect my pay, half of it phew phew phew... Fly liao! T.T so fast!

Sometimes i'm envy of those who have parents to buy & pay for their neccessities. So if you are one of them, pls cherish your parents more.

In order to change yourself, change the things/people that you think are obstructing you.
Alright, time to sleep! Gotta work, lifeless earning money!

请让我继续开心！谢谢！

2011-12-15T02:51:00.002+08:00

"Do not tell everyone your story. You will only end up feeling more rejected. People cannot give you what you long for in your heart. The more you expect from people’s response to your experience of abandonment, the more you will feel exposed to ridicule."

回到最原始的我。

2011-09-11T03:11:00.000+08:00

Went back to school for a Homecoming Campfire.
It feels so great to be back.
Though the night was ruined by drizzle, the company was awesome.
Then i realised, I am back. After going in big rounds, I am back to where i am, who i am.
I'm still that girl before leading astray.

I was once wrong. But i'm glad i did. I've learnt tremendously. I've learnt that you can't trust people easily.
I've learnt that people won't be there for you all the time, there's time for you to stand alone. I've learnt that people won't look at themselves first before judging others.

I am sick and tired of this insane life.

But there's something keeping me going on. I have my stubbornness to thank. I don't wanna resign to fate.

I'm glad that i've attend the campfire, finding back myself. I didn't change much i guess.

Thanks darlings, i still love you 2 just like before. Those memories we shared, no one can steal it away. The 2 years in the company. It was a waste that i quit just like that.

Others may be talking about me for all i care. So long as i'm clear and sure of what i am doing, i won't give a damn though i might be hurt by those spiteful and cruel words. Look at yourself first, before you wanna judge me. You can talk about my wrongdoings, but don't forget to say yours too (:

2011-09-11T02:59:00.001+08:00

这将会是一篇非常消沉的博客文章。

对别人来说，我拥有一个强悍的性格、灿烂的笑容，不会被万物打倒的女孩。

每当遇到不愉快的事情，哭一哭，发泄后，又仿佛没事情发生过。

是否就因为这样，人家就忘了我也只是一个人，同大家没两样，一个脆弱的女孩。

天下间，请问哪个人没犯过错？我不是圣人。圣人也有失误的时候。而我只是在成长。但我若犯错，我会勇敢和坦诚地面对和道歉。

如果，你是认识我的。你应该知道我很会忍。

但是我不能容忍别人冤枉我、背叛我。尤其是我相信和亲密的人。

被背叛的滋味，真不好受。不想再经历了。够了。

比如快乐，你不快乐，谁会同情你的悲伤；

比如坚强，你不坚强，谁会怜悯你的懦弱；

比如努力，你不努力，谁会陪你原地停留；

比如珍惜，你不珍惜，谁会和你挥霍青春；

比如执着，你不执着，谁会与你共进退。

Happy 19th birthday!

2011-08-02T00:00:00.001+08:00

Well, first & foremost. I wish Desmond Poh

Happy 19th Birthday!

This will be the 2nd & last year that i'll be able to celebrate with you.

I hope your future birthdays will be happier without me.

Thank you for giving me my happiest moments,

Teaching me valuable lessons and changing me to the better.

Hope you like the present (:

as much i as hate to let you go, i still want you to be happy.

There's still few more months to go before paper ends.

i just hope to enjoy these last few months.

希望你幸福、快乐。

　好多好多话，我说不出口。

　因为我知道说了也等于白说，你不会想听。

　那，我就摆在心底，真心祝福你。

谢谢你！

我的温柔只想让你都拥有

我的爱只能够让你一个人拥有

我的灵和魂魄不停守候在你心门口

我的伤和眼泪化为乌有为你而流

藏在无边无际小小宇宙爱你的我

2011-08-01T15:24:00.000+08:00

well, regarding my dad's birthday.

We had a dinner together! :D
That short yet heart warming moments. I love my family.
Thank you dad for putting us through the mill.
No matter how much i say i hate you, i just can't.
You have been my idol, and you always will.
& thank god, i have wonderful siblings to guide me through.
Had golf sessions too. Dad just gave us 2 new sets of golf clubs :D

walking in the shadow of happiness.

till then, i guess i will find myself once again.

A side of me.

2011-07-21T01:19:00.000+08:00

Shall make a short escape from facing my undone work.
I'm too lazy to blog always. & now, i'm lazy to do work, that's why i'm here.

In 24hrs time, it will be my dad's 52th birthday. I hope to celebrate with him and have a family dinner together with everyone around peacefully. But i think that will remain as a hope only.

Had been grumbling a lot recently, was it me? Did i tolerate enough and trying to find means to release all the rubbish that I've tolerated with? Honestly, if you are unhappy with me in any way, just come straight to me & confront me. Because i seriously don't appreciate all the little things you did.
I no longer want to be in control by others. Not literally control but emotionally. I don't want to have my emotions swaying just because one person said something.

Had been engrossed with reading novels recently, my new hobby. I don't used to read books. Or what's more, finishing the story book.

As i sit in front of my computer typing this, i feel somewhat unsure of who i am gonna be in the future. Am i going to be what i've wanted to be? Or will i disappoint people or even like i always do in the past?
I feel the need and have the urge to do well, but i just can't find the motivation and be consistent. I feel that i'm not giving my best. Partial of me is afraid of what tomorrow will bring as the hurtful past is haunting me. I'm afraid of expecting, for expectations will lead to disappointments. I feel so insecure even with people around me. I don't seem to be able to let anyone nearer. I don't mind being misunderstood, I don't want my weakness to be known. I can't help but doubting myself. I'm sorry for being slightly vulnerable here.

Do Not Judge Someone Because Of The Past.

What You See is Only What I've Chose to Show You.

2011-06-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

等待　有机会最坏也最甜美　我乐观却疲惫
因为太怕失去你　所以连快乐里都装满伤悲

Every 15th of the month. I still.

2011-06-15T23:11:00.000+08:00

Overwhelmed by sadness.

2011-06-05T02:37:00.000+08:00

What's love? What's life?
It's just a vicious cycle isn't it?
Hopes ignited -> Hopes dashed -> ACCEPT & STFU.
who would actually listen to you when you always talk about the same thing?
When what you talked about is the one that always revolve in your mind, people would just say just get over it la as if it's so damn fucking easy.
No one will have that kind of patience. In the end, all you have is only yourself.
You get sick of their response, get sicked of getting rejected, you start pushing others away, drifting from people whom you were once closed with, keep things only to yourself, scared of getting betrayed, tired of crying, tired of being tired.
Through all the dramas, i'm so mentally & physically strained & drained.
The one whom you thought will never hurt & leave you, eventually will.

FYI, i'm here to rant, not for you to comment. IF you fucking want to comment, don't let me hear it.

Desmond,

can you for once stop taking everything for granted? people around you, do you have any idea how tired they are?

every word & action you say/do, do you have any idea how it'll cause an impact to others?

Or you may just simply say, i don't care.

To you, it's just nothing.

You're just so self centered. You don't care a hoot about other's feeling. Is that the way things should be done? Your mum asked me why do i allowed you to do such things to me. It strucked me.

It's not as if i mind it a lot. But i can't just say i don't mind. I do mind. It's just that i'm still willing to do things for you.

But, you just keep taking me for granted. When i tell you, you change for few days then you revert back.

so why do i wanna tell you off when you could just say i dont care like it dont concern you. It always seems like i'm in the wrong. I'm always the one apologizing.

BUT, I WILL STILL BE THERE FOR YOU AT THE END OF THE DAY, NO MATTER WHAT.

sometimes, i feel so cheap. throwing myself at you. i feel disgusted at myself. i get so frustrated at myself. WHY DO I ALWAYS RUN BACK TO YOU?

that's the safest place i've been to. i dont wanna leave that comfort zone. i've never love someone so much in my life before. I dont mind making huge sacrifices just to make you happy. I dont mind throwing my pride away for you. I DONT MIND.

BUT I MIND getting being taken granted for.

I know, we can never be like before. I know. IT HURTS MORE AS I CLEARLY KNEW.

i still give my best. not asking for any returns. At least, to be respected & that lil appreciation.

Dar, i hope one day you'll understand everyone's effort & it would be too late.

I miss you, i miss us. I miss me when i was with you.

Do you still remember what we went through together? Or is it just that you just don't wanna remember?

i love you, never once stopped.

can we just go back to our happiest moments?

i'm always smiling to convince others that i'm okay.
i'm always talking because i'm afraid of silence.
sighs. forget it. i dunno what i'm saying anymore.
many questions still stirring in my brain. no one will understand.
goodnight!

2011-06-04T00:57:00.001+08:00

alright, i'm back to clear some cobwebs.
seriously, tumblr is replacing my blogspot.

dad came for PTM on wednesday. it has been a long time since we conversed.
& it has also been a long long time since he put his warm arms around my shoulder & pat me.
i felt so happy, infinity. haven't felt this for damn long.
i'm like a child, don't i? hahahahahs.
He said things that i used to hear, get irritated by it & used to think that he's just being naggy.
But now, every word made me smile.

Having hols now, gotta make the best out of it. Money, please come rolling in. I need you badly.
Of course, not neglecting my studies.

Randomly, i miss everyone who was once closed to me. I seriously do miss. Peeps, you're not forgotten.

Trust is like an eraser, it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake made.

The picture below is dedicated to my best friends. Surely, you know who you are :D

When it comes to love.. Never say never & never say forever.

2011-04-10T02:06:00.000+08:00

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to.

shall end this post with a beautiful picture! Jellyfishes. Do you remember?

omg, i'm turning blogger into tumblr soon.

this post is so random. wanted to type a lot of things, but decided to shut them out.

2011-04-02T20:44:00.000+08:00

sometimes, you clearly knew that some beautiful moments will be lost eventually. So you make extra effort to remember the scenario. Sometimes, it becomes the memories that are killing you.

i’m tired of losing friends
i’m tired of fighting
i’m tired of being lied to
i’m tired of drama
i’m tired of crying
i’m tired of never being happy
i’m tired of trying so hard, and have it be one sided
i’m tired of being bitter
i’m tired of being used.
i’m tired of not sleeping.
i’m tired of missing people
i’m tired of hiding my feelings.
i’m tired of missing you.
i’m tired of trying

i felt so great after a long sleep of nearly 18hrs~ when i reached home from school yesterday, i immediately fell into semi-conscious state! hahaha. & woke up only this morning 8+, what a great way to skip dinner.
er jie bought me a swim suit. thanks sis, i finally had it after so long. then went for a 10 laps swim with er jie & da korh. hahas, korhkorh halfway gave up. after that, went to the pasar malam to buy chicken wings as da korh wanted. aww. my fats burned, returned. then bought bee hoon for dinner. my hand is like so aching la! considering for a jog later!

Throughout my life, I have always been afraid of losing people i love. But then, sometimes, I wonder, is there anyone out there afraid of losing me?

2011-03-29T00:07:00.000+08:00

友谊之上，恋人未满。

a year has been gone.

2011-03-15T23:59:00.002+08:00

想回到过去。

a year ago, this date held an important significance.
today, i guess it only matters to me alone.
everything seems to be swirling in my mind like the tsunami.
it's so breath taking & emotions are taking control of me.
i need a shoulder that is not afraid of getting wet,
i need a pair of ears that can hear me rant about the same things,
i need a hug to embrace me.
but, i need ... more.
bear the fears, comes the tears.
& i'm still praying. praying for that day to come.

i didn't change my blog song as this songs depicts how i felt when you came into my life.

reminiscence

2011-03-07T01:53:00.003+08:00

most of the time whenever i miss you, i would read back my blog's archives.
feeling every bit of happiness i felt back then. it still do feels like yesterday. :')
i couldn't be wrong about the feelings, about you.
i asked myself over and over again, what went wrong?

whatever it is, i know it has only been my wishful thinking.
i miss those time, i miss you then. i miss my smiles. i miss you now.

History in the making!

2011-03-05T17:20:00.000+08:00

well, i'm so lazy to blog.
the 4 days 3 nights Kota Tinggi camp is totally awesome! 5A3 rocked the entire camp!
learnt somethings. enjoyed the starry starry night. motivated.

sighs. got so much to blog about. but somehow don't feel like.

it's March once again. By right...
You should be here.
L U.
Happy birthday, hope you are happier.

dont feel like typing in here anymore. bye~

whee~

2011-02-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

few more hours & i'm getting my passport stamped after 2 years+!
excited as this is the first time & the last time that i'll be able to travel with my lovely class :D
will be back on Sunday (:

another week's gone~

2011-02-20T01:04:00.000+08:00

hehehes. few more days to my oversea camp with my awesome class! pretty excited though (:

let's talk about this week. hmmms. i love home-cooked dinner most.
cooked 2 dinners for family this week, totally enjoyed it. hahas. & the taste was better than what i thought it would be. hehes.
this week had been so tiring, i need my sleeps.
dunno what to blog about now. this week is just passing a little too fast. but i like!
make good use of every 60 seconds that is ticking away.

worst week in 2011

2011-02-13T05:00:00.001+08:00

had two birthday celebrations this week. Da korh's & didi's gf's birthday celebration.
set a family rule this year - we should celebrate everyone's birthday together.
aww. it's a good idea but it would be so much better without cakes.
i got caked! TWICE! not on my birthday :( i dread the thought of cake now.

on dakorh's birthday 09/02 , me & my cousin, Johnathan was in charge of the planning.
hehes. it was a success. Cooked tomato prawns & minced meat egg. nice oh~
had an awesome family dinner (: i was caked by my 2 elder bro. :(

went Ms Neo's house for visit on 1102.2011 (the date is nice :/)
hahas, only 11 went though. had some fun there. the most fail & epic thing happened.
we went to the park nearby to release the kong ming lantern which we wrote our wishes on.
failed badly, due to Zhi Long. it was taking flight, & that giant chased after it & pulled it back! LOL.
in his perspective, it's going down. from our view, it's getting higher! hahas, he's too tall la!

12/02, worst cake party ever! celebration for didi's gf. didi cooked chicken chop spaghetti. Failed :X( it makes me think of you, we cooked that together once.)
cut cake time, i went back room & got a super big plastic bag that could fit me in. i was cutting holes so that my head & hands can come out. halfway when i wasn't ready, erkorh dragged me out of the room & cake smashing starts. & i'm always the one being bullied :( sighs. lol. again, my 2 older brother teamed up & bullied me. got a big bruise on my forehead. had a hard time clearing up the mess. i swear i wont be the one getting caked for the next birthday celebration in April!

the week had been quite fun (: monopoly deal-ing for almost everyday this week. & thanks to my dear cousin, i wasn't late this week. he stayed over & woke me up everyday! hurray, 24-27 Feb, overseas trip to Malaysia with all the Sec 5! 2 years didn't go out of Singapore already! So looking forward towards it! Gonna make my last year worthwhile.Why do one's happiness rely on others?

You. The one that is on my mind, as always.

when everything is about you

2011-02-08T00:52:00.000+08:00

今天的我好累。好累。
finally had ajisen ramen. had volcano ramen & the mayo prawn again. but the feeling is different.
time to wake up, instead of closing my eyes & trying to avoid things that i never wanted to see.

dad sent me this msg on 21/1

人生的大敌不是环境，human's enemy is not the surrounding,

也不是别人，而是自己, not others, but self.

环境不会改变，the surrounding won't change,

惟有改变自己。so you have to change your thinking.

要想成为一个领导人 if you want to be a leader,

就绝不能做情绪的奴隶，you cannot be the slave of your emotions

而要做情绪的主人；but be the master of your emotions.

消除负面的情绪，dismiss all negative thoughts,

保持积极正面的情绪。 retain the positive thoughts.

如果能够管理好自己的情绪，if you can control your emotions &

始终坚定成功的信念，believe in your beliefs.

就能加快成功的步行。only then, you can succeed.

我做得到吗？

though dad says its not the surrounding that's your enemy.
but, what to do if your surrounding reminds you of everything?
my living room, room, bed, pillows and even bed sheet reminds me of you.
painting my living room together, you bought bed sheet & pillow for me.
everything stays the same, except you.
you became heartless and can't relate to my agony.
even just being by your side, i'll feel safe. though at times, i'll feel scare.
the feeling is like, when you used to hold my hand and run.
my heart would feel sour. afraid that your hand will let go of mine.
but you did.
isn't it ironic? you once asked me what if you are just another on of those bad guys in my life.
what if, & it came true...

2011-02-07T00:12:00.002+08:00

The long weekend is over. & here i am back blogging.

How's your Cny celebrated? For mine, i think it kinda boring.

Only went visiting on Chu Yi & Chu Er. Which is the only exciting day.

We had our own monopoly competition & the winning prize is $50. But no luck :/

The rest of the days, at home. hehehs. had lots of laughters with siblings though.

Hmmms, gotta go back school tmr. Should it be a happy thing or sad thing? Sighs.

Actually, i've got tons to words to say. But well, shall blog in my private blog ba (:

Anw, 祝大家在新的一年，心想事成、万事如意。HUAT AHS.

shall let the photos do the talking then.

me on the first day of CNY.

mum's side siblings with xiao ahyi. xiaodi's not in the pic :(

didi, me, erjie, dajie, erkor ♥ i'm the shortest as i'm wearing flats :/

this is my da kor with my nephew, zidane. Isn't he very very adorable?

this is jing yuan. my younger step-sis. noisy to the max.

this is zhi ler. my youngest step-sis. she's different from her sis, she's quiet.

& i miss you tons lot.

sleeping pills, anyone?

2011-01-31T22:18:00.000+08:00

last week was quite a fruitful week. except for the part that i missed school :/
help! i can't wake up on time, i couldn't hear my alarms. too deep in sleep. oh no.
i had so much difficulty sleeping. i need sleeping pills. anyone? i can be on bed by 12, but i'm still widely awake at 3am. what's wrong with my mind? they can't seem to stop spinning for once.

on last Thursday, went for CIP with lovely 5A3 (: I felt so happy seeing that granny's smile. Genuinely happy. I believe every classmates felt the same as i do. Doing chores has never been a joy for me, but I've enjoyed every bit of what i am doing that day. That little help, might be minor for us. To them, it's a whole different story. I wanna go back help them again!

Saturday, thorough spring cleaning for my room :D Didi really went to buy scrub for the walls. So, we washed the walls. & yeahs, all the dust on the purple walls are gone! our room are filled with water, so we had to scoop them up. tiring -.- wiped window & grills. apparently, we wiped everything we could see. Lol. another sense of accomplishment upon completing. got a small cut on my knee. & it started bleeding like hell lots. it wasn't even pain. & i only realised it when the blood dripped on the floor. like wth, yes. it was that much.

i hope the unhappy feeling will go away.
2 more days to CNY.
i hope time will pass faster & 2011 will end faster.

i miss you like i always do.

what do i want?

2011-01-21T16:37:00.001+08:00

Back to my weekly routine. Amazingly, i went home right after school ends these few days.
the coffee shop nearer to my house is finally reopened after renovation. missed the food when it was closed, and it was reopened, i was too lazy to go down buy food. but i still did, or else i will be too hungry for anything.

Contradicting, isn't it? Humans are so weird yet interesting at the same time. Sometimes you wished you could hold on to it as long as forever, but there's also time that you just feel like loosen your grip and turn around leave, hoping that you can manage. I've to keep reminding myself - Nothing stays the same. You can be very happy, and ecstatic this moment. At the next very moment, some things or some thoughts plays the wet blanket role and pulls your mood down. I don't know what's wrong with me this week. I'm feeling so unhappy. I just wanna be happy. When i'm alone, those negative thoughts poisons my mind. They are not so negative though, they are constant reminders and facts. Cruel realities. So i'm doing what my heart hated most, and it hurts me instead of you. With every step i take, struggles within myself is so breathe taking. I always run after and back to you. I've got no ideas of where to go, as that was the safest place I've ever been where i can set my heart to ease. A place where i can let my worries cease. Tears will never fail to roll down my cheeks when i think of everything about us. I hate it. I've haven't been sleeping well. It's so hard to fall asleep, my mind and brain can't even let me rest. Tired. Every year, i start by hoping things would be better. But, does that make a difference? I turned people out because they can never understand what you truly felt and will say words to make you even more sad. What you felt are only yours, no one will be able to understand. I rather be by myself after being disappointed umpteen times. So as time goes by, people thought I've changed. Well, i haven't & i didn't. Still that same old me. The one who's still hoping for a better tomorrow. Naive and silly, on the second thought. The one that's bound to get hurt and disadvantages, and acquiesce to all these situations.

Sometimes, i don't need a solution to the problems on my mind. I just need a listening ear or probably some encouraging words. A pair that won't get sick of what you say over and over again.
& I'll be that friend that won't get sick with what you rant. Because i know, everyone just needs someone's support. Sometimes, it feels great to be alone. But, there are times i dread to be alone.

could i forget about the way it feels to touch you & all about the good times that we've been through?

like the way you did.

Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe
The way you know just what I mean

No, I can't learn to live without
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now

Ohh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Ohh, and I don't wanna try

Ohhhh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

" I can't live a lie by Carrie Underwoods "

Oh,
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, now I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
" Just a dream by Carrie Underwoods "

another week has just swept past~

2011-01-14T21:50:00.000+08:00

2 weeks since school had reopened~
bought a new bag and 2 assessment books today! I'm ready, bring it on!
so anxious to do it like now, now, Now!
like staying at home more than going out recently.
received this year's F&N coursework. not gonna be like last year, everything so last minute. no way, i should be ahead of the class! this year coursework (part A)... i can say it's hard, interesting, challenging & a lot of things to research on. had a plan in mind already! i want an A for F&N O lvl. this is also a course that is always mistaken by others. don't be afraid of courseworks, somehow it's better than just exams scripts. thought i will die taking this course. but well, its a different story. i love this course though. haaas. pretty random much. :/
the class is spreading some sort of flu virus again. thanks uhs, i'm recovering from it. hehhehs.
got nothing much to say. life's boring without you, get use to it. off to do assessment book, been years since i had the last one! :D

A successful relationship requires one to fall to in love over and over again, but always with the same person.

i want a successful relationship. can you grant me my wish?
i miss your 'miss swan' face and your ' teehehees'. the thought of it, never fails to draw a smile on my face (:

scars.

2011-01-07T00:14:00.000+08:00

Scars are like memories, and tattoos. When you fall, when your heart breaks, and when your best friend turns her back on you, it leaves a scar that can hurt every-time you think about it. It’s a memory that is stuck in your head. It’s in the past, but it comes back and bites. It’s a tattoo because it’s a memory that hurts, but doesn’t disappear. It never does. When you see it so vividly, you sometimes regret what led to the scar that is a memory that leaves an imprint in your life’s history.

2011-01-06T17:44:00.000+08:00

today is the 3rd day of school. there's a good thing, every graduating classes are placed in air con rooms. & sad thing for my class, out of 3 air cons, 2 broke down!! reporting time is changed back to 7.50am :D

5A3 ; History in the making :D

time to think what i want to accomplish/have this year...

nothing beats having a good O level result.
get into a course of my choice at NP or SP. perhaps RP too.
top 3 in class. ( day dreaming :/ )
my family members to have good health & happy always.
wishes for everyone out there to be happy.
to be more determined & disciplined.
not to be often late for school.
slim down back to 46kg. O.o kinda impossible though :/
i want Christian Dior's "forever & ever" & DKNY's " cherry blossom"
i want that Puma shoe.
iPhone 4!!
i want to save up $500 by end of this year.
i just want to be happy. hopes 2011 will be kinder to me. no more heart aches.
wants to have family dinner more frequent.
smaller eye bags!
no more lies.
more dresses.
more harmony in family.
make sure i will treasure & cherish everything more.
a someone who will mean what they say.
don't commit the same mistakes i've done over the past 18 years.
be more understanding as a daughter, sister, friend.
let go of all the haunting past & pains.
to be truly happy me, who don't have to put up a strong front while i'm tearing deep within.
to do something that i've never done before!
try bungy jump!
go USS.
diving!
car license.
5A3 to win BMCC award!

aww, i still sort of in my holiday mood! i need to be more serious! gambatte (:

She's not perfect

2011-01-03T05:15:00.005+08:00

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.

saw this on tumblr, kinda meaningful. guess that's every girls' wish (:

Welcome 2011~

2011-01-02T06:29:00.000+08:00

i am sincerely asking for a better year ahead, 可以吗?

2010 ; looking back.
time has been really passing way too fast.
somehow everything just feels so recent, you could even actually remembered every detailed feeling you once had. yet, stop & realized it had already past for month(s).
this year, i had tasted family love, unconditional love. i was truly happy this year for the 3/4 year.
这也是我最心痛，心酸的一年。
就像一场梦，一个很温馨的梦。梦见了很幸福、很幸福的一个小家庭。
醒过来，没有了、不见了。统统都化为乌有了。只剩下很心痛、很可惜的感觉。
那个梦，很让人着迷与羡慕。多希望，那个梦没有句点，没有终点。。。

一转眼，一年又过了。好想放慢脚步，无忧无虑地过生活。但那是不可能的。

something happened while i was in the middle of this post.

i'm really terrified of guys, relationships or even marriage. i've seen so much betrayals in this 18 years of my life. how many more will i see? i don't wish to see it.

empty promises, vows. & even lies.

when you lie, you need ten more lies to cover it. don't you feel tired?

is being unfaithful so fun? do you know, it actually hurts when someone found the truth out themselves?

really don't know what to say. please put yourself into other's shoe, spare a thought for their feelings. you are not the only human with feelings. how can you be so selfish?

i'm scared... :'( i remembered how sad was mummy then.

shall stop talking about that topic. i guess insomnia is what that is for me tonight.
Countdown at a pub Asylum @ boat quay with lydia. saw the fire works from there.
it's so beautiful. & again, hear me saying this 'beautiful things/moment don't last. just like a rose that will eventually wilt.' damn, there is no cab there! waited for close to an hour? zzz. in the end, took train.

had home-cooked meal by da korh! though i didn't eat much, but i do appreciate. it's not so easy to gather & have a dinner together. & dad, i wanna have dinner with you soon with siblings. i haven't seen you for 2 months. can we, please?

2 more days, back to school. 1 more year to endure. time to be serious! (:

i know the fireworks will tell you my love for you.

& the wind will also whisper it to your ears.

you'll understand, someday. I believe.

when words can't express how you feel.

2010-12-28T00:10:00.000+08:00

finally, work ended! :D super tiring uhs!

i'm happy today, to the maximum. love the warmth (:
last week before school reopen! gotta enjoy! finally no work, time to watch all my hongkong dramas!

2010-12-20T02:58:00.000+08:00

randomly, thought of blogging. sleepless night again.
went Nex with Venus on Saturday. her company is so awesome!
omg, it was so damn crowded there. had ebi udon while Venus had the beef rice. Yummy!
me want faster go back there & eat again!
then came home. played mahjong. then didi cooked maggi mee for us!
ahhhh, the fishball & sausage finished in just one day! nice dinner though it's just only maggi mee :)
then we watched 'alone'. damn , super dislike watching horror movie la! watch to scare ownself. Lol.

back to now, dangs. bored. tmr gotta work already. no more slacking comfortably at home. can't wait for tuesday!

hmms, gotta start planning for 2011 lo. 2010 has been the greatest year & the saddest one.
am i doing well so far? some words are always better left to be unsaid.
because others can never understand how you feel.
people gets irritated when you keep saying the same things.
trust no one but yourself. because others may disappoint you, they are not honest with you, they will doubt you, speak bad of you behind your back & unknowingly hurt you in the end with actions & words. well you, can be honest with yourself, will never hurt yourself.

allowing yourself to fall in love is like allowing yourself to get hurt.

2010-12-17T21:11:00.001+08:00

thanks god for today. thanks to teachers & fellow classmates!

it was way better than what i've expected. shocking.

it has been long since dad praised me. called dad right away, wanted to bring over let him sign.

but he was busy as he gotta go malaysia.

went home after collecting result.

was supposed to catch a movie with conan buddy.

but heh, i actually don't want to go out, i wanna stay at home.

something must be wrong with him. so had dinner with him at house downstairs.

then i'm back home.

suddenly, don't know why i'm feeling a little down.

can someone tell me why?

With Miss Neo, ♥

being cranky in school!

Conan best buddy!

Lovely classmates. but what is Joel doing?

Haha.

a busy busy day!

2010-12-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

woodlands -> ang mo kio -> changi south -> paya lebar -> red hill -> tanjong pagar -> marsiling -> home sweet home!

heh heh. can see that i'm so packed with activities today!
been travelling on North South line , Circle line & East West line. Except North East line. Lol.
woke up at 7.30am , get didi up for work. left home at 9am.
went changi south to get time sheet signed & return company pass. then to paya lebar for lunch @ Singpost.
red hill for interview to work next week at Jurong Point's Sasa. will be working my ass off during Christmas. :/
then to tanjong pagar to submit time sheet, didn't want to mail because mailing takes time.
finally after so long, visited ahma! seeing how skinny her leg is, all i felt was helplessly sad.
then walked home all the way from marsiling! today's weather is a killer. & my leg is super tired.
well, i didn't rest when i got home. i took the vacuum & mop to exercise! hahas.
vacuumed & moped the whole house. whenever i'm feeling down, i will do chores. hahas!
& i'm felt so much better after completing them! weird way to relieve :D
a normal for me finally. at normal timing~ wheee, my timing is adjusted back.

what has happened to mankind? can't just some passengers give up their sit to elderly who need the sit more than they do? been travelling on train today, seen so much inconsiderate people. pushed & shoved into the train. sighs. what's becoming of this society?

daddy, thanks for your concern~ actually, i do miss you. hope to see you soon!

it's nearing~ it's nearing! 2 more days, anxious me. o.O

2010-12-13T08:21:00.001+08:00

back to blog :D sorry sorraye. the previous post was too carried away by the emotions.

for that instance, words he said really could kill me.

but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

Thursday;
Lydia came over right after her lessons ended at 10pm. Appreciated my girl!
went over to petrol kiosk to buy beer & she bought Amsterdam. Sat outside my house & chatted :D
then decided to drink a bit with her. so we walked back to petrol kiosk, but it was after midnight & we couldn't buy. So walked to Woodgrove, bought a can of Carlsberg and she bought a 11.7% beer. oh, i forgot the name :/ & i bought a ice-cream too :D continued our chat. She went home at 2am plus. & i continued to watch my show, though i've already watched it before. But watching show is a form of therapy for me, as i can stop thinking about things i shouldn't be thinking about anymore :D thanks to Hwee for the entertainment to cheer me up!
Friday; movie w Venus at Causeway Point
woke up in the afternoon. bath & prepared to go Causeway Point for Narnia 3. remembered that we caught Narnia 1 with the scouts. hahas. awesome show. i missed Narnia 2, shall download & watched it soon! then went for dinner at the foodcourt. went home, mahjong with Venus & didi. Lol. watched step up 3! funshion has it, like finally!~ then watched show. was talking about supper, Venus said give her 5 mins. & she fell asleep! ahahas. so did i~
Saturday; pub @ Vintage
woke up at 2plus, was waken up by them as they are hungry & want lunch already. so we walked to petrol kiosk to withdraw money. then back to coffeeshop. then go back use com. hehe. Venus phone low batt, so we did something daring. we went to borrow charger from my neighbour. then she randomly say wanna eat ice-cream. so went down to mamashop & bought 3 cornettos (: like kids, eating outside the house. a lot of flashbacks for us from 5 years ago? she used to go over to my place and stay over too :D & we do crazy things like cycling over to punggol end in the midnight. a great therapist uhs! :D
then she left at 6pm. watched tv, prepared to go vintage & meet er korh. There was fireworks near Causeway Point! super nice! Lol , make me smile like a kid like that. & i was so happy! but beautiful things don't last. so, went there drink! after drinking became so energetic! i can't get to sleep. is there caffine in alcohol? o.O
Sunday; a happy day chatting
woke up at 4 plus again. basically, was doing nothing much but chatting with friends online. & the funniest was, chatting with qin's korh and Joseph.K! thanks all for the support. wasn't happy upon hearing something. money money, faster roll in! i want to earn a lot money! sad yet wondering how is he doing. daddy, i haven't talk to you for a month or so. how are you? i miss you. went to have breakfast with didi in the morning (: he cycled over. didnt eat much though. i am still so energetic~ bought breakfast for lovely siblings :D hope they appreciate (: i managed to stay happy!

孤獨萬歲失戀無罪!

誰保證一覺醒來有人陪

我對於人性早有預備還不算太黑

獨身萬歲失戀無罪!

愛不夠愛你的人才受罪

用過去悲傷換來自由難道不珍貴

一個人崩潰不是在犯罪

一個人崩潰並不是在犯罪

goodbye.

2010-12-09T18:12:00.000+08:00

goodbye everyone. please take good care.
the world is still gonna be the same with or without me.
dont wanna waste anyone's time on me.
i'm just a bitch.

i love you. perhaps i didnt know what is love.
it wont be the same & i wont.

you would never understand.

2010-12-08T02:25:00.000+08:00

my pain.
i really cannot accept it. it's always so sudden.
sleeping pills, anyone?

2010-11-17T02:58:00.001+08:00

yea, i'm finally 18. but i wish to go back to the time when i was 12.

firstly, i would like to thank everyone that wished me.

but who actually remembered without the fb reminder, i wondered.

i miss celebrating my birthday with mummy.

i miss the way how things was.

i ain't happy about being 18. there was no cake this year.

but, who actually cared? who actually stop for a few minutes to care? no one. time waits for no one.

neither do people stop for you. time changes everything.

i'm back to my old self, not wanting to share my thoughts with anybody but me.

because, you can't trust someone too much. once you start placing trust on them, you yearn for more.

& you only have yourself.

Never make someone your everything, because if you lose them, you have nothing.

life's a bitch. & humans are greedy. this world is so ugly.

things said half a year ago will never validate now.

i'm not in the best of mood as you can see. it has been like for days.

i started to dislike talking & wished i can be all alone.

i put up a strong front trying to convince others & myself that i'm good. yea, i'm good. i'm okay.
packed up my emotions & trying to march on. but i'm tottering.

shedding tears seems to be a daily routine for my eyes.

i placed too much hope. hoping that the world isn't too bad. but disappointment strikes again.

i'm not looking for anyone to pity or sympathize with me.
i just wanna rant on my blog.
no one knows what i'm thinking, so neither do i know what i want now. i felt so lost now.

people always say, what hurt the most is when you can't see that person that you miss.
but i beg to differ. it is when you get to see him everyday, constantly reminding yourself he's not the one anymore, he's only just a friend now. he's no longer your sweet little darling.
the love between you & i died. things should go back till what it was like before 10th March.
i was truly happy with time spent with you, we've been through a lot. & hell, i'm so gonna miss those time we spent. & i hope you can remember too & the feelings we once had. loving you was never a regret. goodbye, love.
oh well, forget it. i don't feel like talking much here. you see, i'm one crazy asshole!

Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.

but i'm not sure if i can do this ):

i deserve better.

2010-11-06T02:47:00.000+08:00

happy birthday mummy! i love you ! i don't care how you'll be in the eyes of others. i love you, no matter what. you gave me my life. though i always ask why do you give birth to this world of suffering. but it's not up to us to decide our life, our parents, our fate. do know, i love you.

well, i'm truly happy today. but i jolly well know, happy moments won't last.
Pink pink & Bai bai finally together le! (: you said it contained your feelings.
but what feelings?
i just want to be happy till my birthday is over.

失去的恋爱难以勉强.

urge to cut my hair short again! i love to cut my hair after a failed relationship because it makes me feel like i'm going to start anew all over again.

sorry for wasting anyone's time on me

2010-11-01T23:49:00.000+08:00

希望越多，失望越高。盲目地相信我会得到更好的明天。也许是我太傻，太天真。真的活得很累。已经伤痕磊磊。没有勇气去面对接下来的挑战。请告诉我，还有什么事值得我去做。害怕再次受伤，已把我自己封锁在我的安全区。以为那个他会不一样，但却又一次受伤。或许我应该认命，上天哪里会对我那么宽容？是自己妄想吧。我是否很失败？什么都做不好。

who will spares a thought for my feelings anyway? should have gotten used to it. why would i cry? that's weakness in others eyes. i am strong... no, that's what i thought. i am so wrong. we were just friends that just spent a lot of time together. yea, that's what i get. i feel my heart sinking, & it pushes tears to be overflowed from my eyes. it dripped, it rolled down my cheek. again, face is being washed by tears. i hate crying in front of others. but i had no control over my tears. i'm tired of picking up myself from a bad fall. every time i stand, i fall even harder. there's so many people having accident every day but why not me? people like me shouldn't be living wasting others time. i smile to cover my pain. who actually believes that i'm happy? from young, i tried to be happy-go-lucky. but it adds up to every thing over time, i felt more unhappy in me. last year, 2 days before birthday dad asks me to move out. since then, does anyone know i've been crying to sleep every night before i eventually get my sleep? birthday has never been good for me. life has never been fair. till now, i do anonymously cry till sleep. i don't know what happened. the tear glands seemed spoilt. i never wanted this way. everything. those i love don't love me as much as i do love them. i gave my best in this relationship. still it wasn't enough. because its me who is not good enough for anyone. i'm tired , hungry. back to be like last holiday, a meal in 2 days. why don't give my life to someone else & they play my role? or if my life benefits other, i don't mind you taking away. :'( i only hope for someone to treasure & appreciate me.

happily never after...

2010-10-31T23:23:00.000+08:00

it's a bad day...

what can i do?

to make you stay?

its so brittle & fragile.

2010-10-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

been working for the weekdays in the same company with darling but different department.
thought we would be in the same dept, but we aren't.
oh wells , it feels great nonetheless!
its like having him sending me to work, having lunch break together, & fetching me from work. & i do the same for him. AHAHAs!
i have to wake up 6plus in the morning , get out of house by 6.50am & reach amk mrt station before 7.30am.
well, its kinda tedious but life isn't easy anyway.

a fashion show @ studio M Hotel on thursday, OT-ed till 10pm.
the models are 180cm & above, i feel so short & petite when i walk pass them.
went work on friday as usual , tired maximum. & an sales event @ Standard Chartered Bank at changi business park, went there with boss to set up stall.

and now, before i end my night , i'm here to do a short update (:
still working for weekends @ OC . Jia You, all the way ELYN !
November is arriving! 17 more days to 18th :D

i wonder how long can i last working 7 days a week?

2010-10-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

just here to spend some time on my blog before i get real busy with life :D

weekends, will be working at Orchard Central giving flyers.
weekdays, will be working as temporary admin till school starts at GhimLi, Changi South. oh yes, working together with my darling ! :D

i wanna earn as much money during the holidays as i can, no matter how tired i would be.
so that i can save for rainy days, buy things i need & want, pamper myself & boyfriend! ahahas. money money, i'm saving you up!

there are too much things i wanna get. & i will get them on my own! :D

i want

Iphone4.
new bag.
buy birthday present for darling ( though he asked me not to )
my birthday to be memorable

i need

new shoe
more clothes!
new bag ( also a need )
TO SAVE !

no matter how tired, i will persist~ OISH! gambatte! 加油~ 明天会更好！

:/ changi south is really very far. but lucky there is transport from ang mo kio mrt station at 7.30am , its still so damn early. have to get my ass out of bed early & get me out of house before 7am. So, i bought a super irritating alarm clock today :D hehehe. can get to see darling too (: he is my big big motivation!

darling, i love you as always , more & more each day!

i think i'm done here! gotta go, ciaos! :D

happy 7th monthsary!

2010-10-15T23:19:00.067+08:00

baby boy, you are so precious to me. Happy 7th monthsary!

went over to find darling in the morning at 8 plus in the morning & napped till 2 plus.
lunch at Ichiban Sushi, darling had the Teriyaki chicken wazen while i had the scallop miso soup wazen.
darling's .!
it's my second time eating salmon sashimi. finally dare to eat, due to darling's influence. Hehe. Yummy yummy! after filling our tummy, took train to Vivocity. been like donkey years since i last went there. remembering i used to work there. hahas.
walked around Vivo before heading to Sentosa! alighted at the wrong monorail station. darling suggested to walk our way there as it's more romantic! teeheehees. what a sweet boyfriend!
went underwater world ♥ the touch pool. ahahas! the puffer fish & blue spotted stingray is so soft and slimy. jelly fish are so cute! bloop bloop bloop! the angel jellyfish is super uber CUTE and small ! love it ! we were too late for dolphin lagoon. but well, it's still worthwhile.
seeing his smile, knowing they are for me, i feel so happy & blissful. it makes me melt!
head back vivo and had dinner at the kopitiam. appetite was not that good so i had porridge. & trained home. despite darling feeling so tired, he still send me back to woodlands then heading home alone when he could had alighted earlier. thanks baby! :D a memorable day. a day with only smiles (: darling didnt want to take photo as he finds that his pimple are making him look so ugly. but nonetheless, he still takes photo with me!

darling,

you are the best to me! though there are times when we quarrel and feel like giving up, but we hung on. till this far & further down the road. thank you for making me so happy today. I seriously appreciate it & love it! you're all that i've wished for.

Life's good, finally.

2010-10-11T01:08:00.000+08:00

well well well, hoyeah. I'm back posting.
N's level over (: can put down all the worries. kinda anxious for results :/
thank god, F&N paper was not as hard as i thought it would be.
what mdm tan had anticipated came out, Microwave cooking! Hahaha!
thanks to Paul for teaching me as i missed this out when mdm tan went through over&over again.
hehe. finally changed pillow after so many years (: & bought a new bed sheet which darling & i agreed that it's nice nice! lol, from hougang point Ntuc to amk ntuc 'cause there's more variety to choose from. hugging & trying every pillow we see, haha. that feeling was so blissful :D so random, i know.

what a hectic day today , i'm worn out. after work, er korh called & told me something happened at home with a serious tone. actually, nothing as bad as i thought happened. Its just that he wanna paint his room! his room got a extreme makeover. so i'm kinda lazy to blog right now.

i'm happy with life. not quite but was way better, i'm contented (: awesome siblings, wonderful boyfriend, happy me. & i'm not gonna be affected by any nonsense :D darling always try to be there for me. what i want most right now, a memorable birthday. getting good results. get into poly . last long long with darling. earn money. save many many money! of course, one step at a time!

baby darling;

thank you for being so sweet. knowing that you do care & worry for me, i'm contented (: i miss you, just a day without seeing you. hopes that everyday is just so sweet. darling, i love you! it feels good knowing you missing me as much as i do!

ENDURE!

2010-10-01T01:16:00.001+08:00

back posting (: well , Happy Children's day!
i hope that every children have a happy childhood because they deserve to. then they'll have pleasant memories when they look back. every children's day or even my birthday stays the same -> same routine for 365 days, just like how Earth revolves around the sun. it shouldn't be that way. i didn't had the chance to taste a normal childhood. How i wish i can change history. But time cant rewind, so i sincerely wish that every children to be treated as they deserve to.

last weekend work was kinda fun. had to dress in some German costume (?) as there is Oktobier fest going on. there is the beer pong contest. Preliminary round is on saturday, Finals on sunday. the 1st prize winner can walk away with $500 cash vouchers. & it's free to play! so readers, you can come down to Orchard Central on this weekend to play (:
a few more days, N'lvl would be over soon. time unknowingly past so fast. need to study already! please wake the the freaking idea & stop being so lazy! lol.

baby, thank you (: for always being there, for being so sweet! you know, my love for you will only increase but will never ever decrease. N's coming, i wish that you can do well & hope we'll promote together :D love you, silly! ♥

2010-09-24T01:21:00.000+08:00

22nd Sept ; Happy birthday to Er korh ! & Mid-Autumn Festival
First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, er korh!
after school went darling's place. Had our dinner @ Eunos with darling's daddy & mummy :D rare occasion. had white pepper crab & chilli crab . guess that's the dish that we wont miss out when having dinner with his dad, as his dad loves to eat crab. finished the dinner at 10pm (:
darling dropped a piece of crab meat on the floor. in less than 10 mins, there were 3 cockroaches sucking on it. so YUCKY !
the night before, a cockroach invaded my room. me & didi were so scared to do anything. Da korh took my shoe & flatten it. Urghs , so damn disguisting la. I seriously hate cockroaches!
LOL , kind of random to talk about cockroaches now , but i'm kinda bored.

alright , my job is not too easy . but, it certainly is kinda slack & good money (:
first time giving out flyers & somemore it's at orchard! so many people la. feel like hiding my face, LOL.
per hour $10 , pay is good, isn't it? hehehes. money money, come come! then i can finally buy things that i want for a long time. wahahas, i'm already planning of how to spend! of course, working is boring & tiring. but i keep comforting myself by saying $100 a weekend . kekekes.
& i tell myself , i will not reject those flyers others distribute! because i know how it feels like when people rejects you. alright okay , super duper random i know.

my bed & pillows are seducing me. so imma off to bed! goodnight peeps (: have a great day when you wake.

love you darling! thank you for the effort, dont stop :D

where's the love?

2010-09-18T10:10:00.000+08:00

对你而言,我算什么?
this question keep circulating in my mind.

if this goes on, i might be gone.

today is my first day of work after so longgg . i'm kinda scared & nervous.
you said you'll come, but where are you?

我们说好的呢? 我们怎么了?

GET OUT !

2010-09-16T23:08:00.001+08:00

心在流血，眼在流泪。

i wanna be alone...
i wanna hide in a corner where no one would find me.
i want to embrace myself tightly & get rid of that cold feeling in my heart.
i don't wanna be a crybaby , i wasn't like that .
perhaps, i should try not to care & take things easy. don't let myself get affected easily.

if you didn't realise, you getting pissed more easily this few days.
that sentence of yours just hurt damn a hell lot. you don't bother.
don't do just for the sake of doing... things shouldn't be that way ...
just what have done to deserve this? or what have i not done enough?
i gave my best to you, what more can i do? somebody please teach me.
i'm clueless .
perhaps a useless girl like me should be gone.
no one will ever appreciate me for the efforts i've put in, no matter how hard i try.
guess i resign to fate, just a cheap life that no one should spend time on.

HAPPY 6TH MONTH !

2010-09-15T01:58:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 6TH MONTH & THAT'S 1/2 YEAR !

Baby, i'm seriously deeply touched by the message you sent.
Thank you for appearing at my doorsteps at 12 to surprise me.
staying over to celebrate with me, spending the whole day with me, i'm so looking forward to it.
i don't wanna sleep 'cause i'm afraid to just miss out that 1 min that will slip by.
thank you for being with me for the past 6 months.
inevitable, quarrels &squabbles would come into our way.
we came through up&downs , walked through thick&thins together.
we've come so far , & will carry on with it .
thank you for the effort :D
i'll never stop loving you, truly & faithfully !

If I forget to tell you just how much you mean to me, I hope that you will remember while your not here with me.
If I forget to tell you that you are my world and more, I hope that you will remember what I am waiting for.
If I forget to tell you I want you in my life, I hope that you will remember that I am always by your side.
If I forget to tell you I love you more than words, I hope that you will remember regardless of the hurt.
If I forget to tell you I am sorry for my mistakes, I hope that you will remember with every one I make.
If I forget to tell you no other can compare, I hope that you will remember the love that we both share.
If I forget to tell you I miss you everyday, I hope that you will remember your absence causes pain.
If I forget to tell you that forever is what I want, I hope you will remember that forever is what we have got. Whether I say these words to you, or wait until you are here with me, I will show you this forever, and these words will have no need.

a long post

2010-09-12T02:46:00.004+08:00

well i'm back in action after a week (:
this week had been a bitch, oops. pardon me alright. i'm here to rant :/

a lot of things happened, be it happy or saddening, it's damn tiring.

Sunday; celebrated YiRong's birthday
went over to meet darling. & then suddenly remembered that darling is celebrating yirong's birthday with the rest of the warriors.
& i tagged along . was meeting at Kovan for celebration @ NewYork .
& its some kind of luck that we saw YiRong on the same train! Lol. Darling lied that he was sending me home instead of going to celebrate his birthday :X
we got off the train together. darling & I walk off hurriedly . went in Heartland Mall to meet the guys.
while they asked YiRong to go to Superbowl there. Hahas . everybody wrote their wishings on the card for him.
then some of them walked over there to fetch him over. It's my first time eating @ NewYork.
you can infer that how mountain tortoise i am :/ had a nice dinner with them. a rare occasion that all 13 turned up (:
left for home after snapping a few shots !

had first three N level papers, had been waking up at 5.30am 'cause i'm kia-su :x
being afraid that i'll be late for my paper :/ was too nervous & can't sleep well everynight. Yawns!
chinese isn't a problem for me. but i'm like so lack of confidence this time round.
Omg, the English paper 2 is like so damn freaking easy la!
& Sri Lanka came out for SS paper :D
this rest of the papers starts from 4thOct.
Gambate Eileen , please use the time wisely!

heard a sad piece of news , which i am still brooding over it till now.
lesson learnt, cherish the time spent with those people around you. dont start to miss the person only when you know that you'll have lesser opportunities to see them.
i am gonna make sure i cherish enough for everyone who is so dear to me..

Wednesday; went over to Jurong after school.
A tedious journey from Hougang to BoonLay. went over to granny's place. had dinner there (:
then stayed over at mum's place.

Thursday; went Chinatown with didi.
walked around People's Park. The duck rice stall at the basement is Awesome !
then went over to meet darling . made Konnyaku Jelly with darling's mum for the party on friday :D
at night, FuSheng, Shawn, YiRong came to darling's house for Texas poker. Lol.
then went over to YiRong's place for mahjong, while FS went home.

Friday; party at darling's place.
the lunch party, a lot people turned up with food 'cause its like potluck. everybody comes with food (:
but the Laksa owned the party . ahahs . the laksa that darling's mum cooked was so delicious!
went home at 6 plus 'cause darling meeting my siblings & OhCC for basketball. Youngest Didi came over too (:
finally gave darling the Giant card that i've made for him on his birthday :D

Please do not abuse your authorities/rights. So what if you are older? If you don't know how to respect others, others will never ever respect you!

Saturday; Shifted the wardrobes in bedroom (:
like finally , move & adjusted the wardrobes in my room . didi got his bed changed to super single & its so much bigger la.
finally got my things done at 4plus .
took train & send youngest didi back to BoonLay . then went over to meet darling.
felt kind of stupid when i travelled from woodlands to boonlay. then from boonlay to AMK, passing by woodlands again!
time spent with darling is never enough !

 ♡ 3 more days to our 1/2 years ! ♥

so looking forward to it ! we've come this far !
& we'll walk down the road further together, hands in hands till the end of time (:
time seems to be passing so fast, the feeling of just getting together is still so fresh in heart&mind :D
darling, thank you for entering & being a part of my life.
i can never imagine how life without you would be like.
things between us had been quite smooth recently :D it just keeps getting better .

I ♥ YOU .

random

2010-09-05T00:58:00.000+08:00

hi, it's me back blogging again...
N level is just two days away...
starting to panic. I hope i could get my ass up to Sec5 & not to disappoint anyone anymore.
Chinese, SS and English next week & the rest on 4th Oct . I think i won't have problems with my languages, for sure.
Combined Humanities is gonna kill me, I am so gonna flunk that paper.
Gonna put in more effort for Maths, Combined Science & Food and Nutrition. Way to go!

Life is full of worries and is extremely tiring.
Expectations shouldn't be held high as you'll be disappointed more if things weren't the way you expected it to be.
Sometimes you'll love living, yet sometimes you'll hate living for there are too many obstacles to go through.
It is challenging yet sometimes the challenge can back you down.
Life is just so contradicting.

Darling, i love you.
I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. I'm dumb.
i just can't imagine myself without you, just a slight thought will bring tears to my eyes.
You are the most important person in my life. & i just love who you are.
Don't stress up alright. I'm sure you are going to pass (:
Let's buck up together! jiayou oh , darling ! together, we strive! Gambate!

& i pray that everything will be alright.

2010-08-30T17:32:00.000+08:00

I'M OKAY......

当你

2010-08-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

today's a bad day, a bad start.

woke up with a loathing stomachache. that thoroughly spoils my day. i kept running to toilet -.- wondering what's wrong with me.

If giving up after one try is what you choose to do instead of making it better, i've got nothing to say as i'm utterly disappointed.

my tone of speaking might be harsh for i'm not gentle. I'm sorry.

when every word you say, makes a drastic difference.
when every expression you give, makes a person wonder why.
when every action you do, makes a person know how much you feel for them.

sometimes, i wonder who & what i am to others that i really cared about...
sometimes, i ponder over why & what caused that action(s) to be done...

why do human still love after getting hurt?

shall stop here, don't feel like carrying on anymore.

happy happy weekends~

2010-08-22T23:44:00.000+08:00

oh, its sunday... a week just flew by... N level is getting nearer & nearer. tomorrow is Monday, & a start of a new week.

had a lovely weekend (: darling stayed over (: my Nephew is getting cuter & cuter! :D

Saturday; stayed home.

Basically, had a simple day watching movies with darling.

Sunday; Siblings & boyfriend!

woke up in the morning, went to pray for 大妈妈, went marsiling to visit ahma. So glad to see ahma's condition improving so much from the last time I've visited her. She kissed nephew today. Ahaha! That was kinda surprise (: cooked spaghetti as dinner for two days. & an addition dessert for today , Almond Jelly (: i want to learn to cook more dishes for darling! watched the YOG soccer with darling. It's a pity that Singapore team did not get into finals. At least, Singapore team is doing so much better than Haiti. Well, i think Bolivia is going thrash Haiti again..

Darling, I'm missing you so badly right after you left!

2010-08-18T21:58:00.028+08:00

today , after school went kovan & went to meet Lydia at her place ! :D

it has been like so long since I've met her. ahahas. Oh , she can cook now :D
cooked maggi mee for myself , while she cooked a pot of soup (: & scrambled egg with shrimps & bean sprout. hehes. this blog shall only be for happy happenings (:

说不出的心酸;

i love you always, never will it change.

2010-08-17T23:56:00.002+08:00

school as usual today (: after school end , went ave 8 for a haircut .
I said that i won't go back to Snip Avenue before . but well , it's so cheap .
so went there cut again with darling . darling finally changed his hairstyle ! Like Finally after so many years right ?! Very nice :D Ahahas . mine was a disappointment ): grrrr , but oh well , hair will grow back de la . * comforting herself *
after haircut , had wanton mee for lunch then bus-ed home . & rain started pouring down hard .
went home bathed & changed , decided to go over mum's place with darling & didi to fetch xiao didi from school . food cooked by mum always taste so good (: no matter how oily it was , i still enjoy every mouth of it .
watched the 9pm show , then took train back home . & darling continued his journey to amk .

Thanks darling for the trouble to travel with me from hougang-> woodlands -> boonlay -> then back to angmokio . LOVE YOU LA !

2010-08-15T21:59:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 5th MONTH-SARY , MY LOVE ♥!

didn't get to meet you today as you went out with your warriors to celebrate birthday(s) . i miss you a lot a lot though i just saw you yesterday . thanks for being there for the past 5 months & i know you're not going to leave me . time went by fast . & its already 5 months since we're together .
guess i start to depend on you more .
i may demand from you more ,
i may get irritated when you did something small wrong ,
i may get angry with you for nothing ,
i may put my thoughts into your brain ,
i may find things & quarrel with you ,
i may not be a good girlfriend ,
BUT i'll always try to give you my best ,
I'll always provide care & concern for you ,
I'll always try to be an understanding & good girlfriend ,
& I'll always love you no matter whatever comes by ,
I'll always be by your side giving you my utmost support .
I know sometimes my imaginations got wild & is so afraid that you'll leave but that is because i truly care for your existence .

Darling , no words can ever describe my love for you . You're are the best present i've ever had . you changed me into someone whom i love being . you gave me strength & confidence . I'm so in love with your smile . treasured those stay-overs , waking up & seeing you lying beside me . A blissful feeling that etched into my heart . A feeling that i can't find it with anyone else . It's you that is so special . i'll love you as long as i live . i wanna grow old with you (:
you might have forgotten today :/ but well , hope you'll enjoy your day with friends . ♥ you .

More than happy.

2010-08-10T22:38:00.003+08:00

a week without updating , i'm back in action (: briefly describing .

friday ; National day celebration .
was dismissed early . went home (: simple day . hahaha !
had fun with classmates ! i love my class , they are awesome . 4A4 ' 10 BEST !
Zhi long could carry 3 people , power !

saturday ; K session with siblings ♥
darling came over in the afternoon after his soccer match .
da jie came back , had zi char at house downstairs .
darling went home while we went for k session at civic center .
it has been years since we last sang together . sang for 4 hours till 1am , (:

sunday ;
da jie bought lunch for us . darling came over (:
had dinner at house downstairs . played mahjong with gwen's friend till midnight .
then walked over to civic center to buy macdonald for supper . darling stayed over :D
he played dota with my brothers till morning .

monday ; happy 45th birthday , Singapore .
went swimming with 2nd sis , didi & darling . last min plan . LOL .
T.T there's fireworks opposite my block , yet we can't see anything .
SO NEAR YET SO FAR ! we were blocked due to the building's design ):
wanted to go down & see but we were too damn hungry after the swim .
so we couldn't be bothered to go down & enjoy the nice scenery . shall wait for next year ba (:
another lovely day with siblings & my dearest darling ♥

Tuesday ; school holiday & Happy birthday to darling's dad !
spent the day with darling . it feels good waking up & seeing darling next to me , sleeping soundly (:
used com , went causeway point for lunch .
so disappointed with lunch , the food cmi . felt so cheated , will never go back that stall eat !
darling wanted to catch a movie , but no slots available + too many people . walked around .
Had Gelare waffle ice cream (: hehehs , first time having that :D yummy . it's Tuesday special :D
went home , use com . didi suggested to go pasar malam , a big event , but boring as every stalls almost the same .
went 371 for dinner . darling went home right after dinner .
oh gosh ! Prelims starting tomorrow ): don't like don't like.

DARLINGGG ! my precious lazy pig ! love you love you more every day . i do cherish my everyday with you . time spent with you was never enough . your smile is always on my mind & i want to see your smile everyday . sorry , sometimes i get worked up for nothing serious . i'm sorry , i'll try to control . You're a good , caring boyfriend . Best i ever had . always worrying about me , which makes me happy yet sad as i'm always worrying you . love your concern . love your soft & sweet voice . love you acting silly to make me smile when i'm angry . miss you acting as miss swan . hehehs . its 5 more days to our 5th month (: & i truly love you deep deep oh !

2010-08-03T00:24:00.000+08:00

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

2010-08-02T00:20:00.003+08:00

my sweet boyfriend , HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY !

i'm glad that i'm able to spend the day with you ! this is the first & there will be many more to come . we will sail through every hardship together . i can see our future & i know you do too (: though i might not have any presents for you , or neither a cake . you forbid me to :/ but i'm happy as i can celebrate with you by your side . although , you feel that this is not a special day . but it means alot to me (: wanna stick with you the whole day . teeheehees :D may all your wishes come true . loving you always & will never leave you . my dear , happy birthday ! ♥

Yours truly ,

EileenLeeYN

♥

2010-08-01T00:27:00.003+08:00

been prettaye lazy to update ~

22nd july ; happy birthday(s) !
happy birthday to daddy !
happy birthday to shimin heart2 !

last friday ; 23rd July ): & (:
kite flying with lovely siblings :D er jie & her boyfriend , didi & his girlfriend & my precious boyfriend ! mum came over to my place & cooked dinner for us ! ♥ homecooked food always ! kite flying wasnt a success again . no wind de :/ a family day for us (:

saturday ; 24th July
had a so-called celebration with dad by having a lunch together . visited ah ma , it pains me to see her like this when i visit her everytime . another simple day .

sunday ; 25th July Cooked Spagetti for dinner .
darling came over & we went civic centre Ntuc to shop for ingredients for spag . awesome dinner cooked by me , darling & didi ! a dinner for 7 peepo . i ♥ my siblings !

monday to friday ;
nothing else to update about . school days ~ i love every school day with the presence of darling !

saturday ; ♥
surprised darling by going hougang to see him play football (: waited for him to end his football session , went point for KFC then came home (: then waited for brothers to come home , went down for basketball . had a nice conversation with darling !
DARLING VERY HANDSOME ! hehehes :x

love you love you love you , my precious darling ! you are the only one i want . still remembered how it feels like when we just started . it always make me smile silly before i sleep when i think of it . it was so cute then . but , its so romantic now ~ :D

FEAR

2010-07-23T00:02:00.000+08:00

FEAR

fear of losing everything that i have now because everything seems so perfect. perhaps sometimes, it might just be my wild imaginations that scares me. but it's a fact that nothing stays the same forever, things will change as the world is round.

my present wishes; to last long with darling , to see darling always happy , to pass my N , a remarkable birthday , to live in harmony with siblings , ah ma's condition not to worsen .

thank you, darling. thank you for being there. thank you for tolerating my temper recently. perhaps I'm too heaty. i had never felt that I've love someone in my life so deep before. i hope you'll be the first & be the last that i really try to give you all my best. just the thought of parting with you can bring tears to my eyes. i don't use to be so weak & cry for relationship. but you are the only one that's able to make me weak yet strong at the same time. thank you for all you've done. you are all that i've wished for all these years to make my life worthwhile. perhaps, i don't really show it but these are all the words in my heart. we will overcome every obstacles together always. you made me believe that my life is gonna be so beautiful . i just love you like I've never been in love .
few more hours to go. reluctant much.

urge

2010-07-19T22:55:00.002+08:00

a sudden urge to post. but I've got no idea what to blog about. & my mood ain't really good right now.
everything will come to an end eventually.
& some things just happened when you least want it to happen. 4 more days.

I've got a good boyfriend right now & I'm contented knowing that he'll always be by my side.
& i'm sure that he is the man i wanna spend my life with. i know, we won't this go easily, we'll hold on & see our future together.

2010-07-15T08:57:00.002+08:00

Happy 4th , darling !

i love you , & i know you love me too ! :D

busy buffet weekends!

2010-07-05T02:24:00.011+08:00

had a busy weekend . lucky , there's a day to rest (:
youth day = no school .

People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

on April 10 at 1:30am

when you ask for help , you are asking for a favour , not a demand . others have no obligations to help , you don't have to talk sarcastically like a spoilt brat . Mark my words .

Friday ; a heartwarming day with darling !
went school, end school as usual. was supposing having Physics extra lesson at 2.30, but was cancelled. while waiting , darling went to play awhile basketball , & of course kick soccer was his forte. watched him play, get him water to drink, smiling at him when he took a glance at me (: then it started raining , so we headed back to his place. running in the rain , hand in hand . bought noodles up for lunch. then after eating, had some workout , tummy exercise that Mr.Roslan taught us. haaas . then bath . i had my nap as usual while he uses his com. woke up, walk around ang mo kio central looking for something to eat. Alot of choices , couldn't make up our mind. So we continued walking to Ang mo kio hub . wow , was too packed . people mountain , peepo sea :X so no choice either, had to settle our dinner at the food court at 3rd level . had slice fish beehoon , first time ordering a bowl for myself in my life . Hahas , remembering how i always asked Eileen.C "how it tasted , really so nice mehs? " yea , it's kinda nice . then walked to Koi buy milk tea as darling keep talking me how nice it was & he said must try . On the way , saw Ntuc having curtains sale . so bought 1 for $10 , hahas , value for dollar (: i tried the vanilla milk tea while darling had the honey milk tea. His was too sweeettt . then walked to pasar malam to buy ramly burger while waiting . have to wait long for our drinks as there are alot of people . was just nice after buying the burger , our drinks were ready . went back darling's place use com awhile & home-d. it feels so perfect :D that blissful feeling . no , never will we wants it to stop .

Saturday ; Ms Neo's wedding (:

woke up at 9+ , bath & prepared . went over darling's place to meet darling , help him iron clothes & left the place . took train to novena , from there take bus 57 to Bugis . walked over to Tepak Sireh restaurant . we didnt know the exact direction , so we asked around to get to our destination . reached there , the lion dance just started . meet up with classmates . saw alot of my batch students (: saw amanda , lynn :D was suppose to meet Sharon there too , but she overslept ): then had buffet , hardly tried malay food , & it tasted not bad (: the beef was good . okay , the main point is not about the food :/ we learn about their culture , how their wedding goes like . & this is kinda special as Singapore don't always have malay-chinese wedding . i mean , you wont get to this type of wedding often . you see tom-pang , lion dance. it's new & interesting to me. had fun taking photos with classmates (: it was a nice event , gathering or you could say class outing . hahas . after photo taking , all left . walked to bugis with darling while others took bus . Yet , we reached there earlier than them ! Lol . walked awhile until my legs couldn't tolerate as blisters are growing and gets more pain. took train home. had a dinner with siblings & darling . Couldn't be more than i could ask for. having dinner with my loves ! Siblings. Boyfriend .

Look , i may not have what you've got. & i don't give a hoot about it. But, you may not have what i got . I have what you don't too. So please, don't boast about your born-ed perfections. it's just that you were much more lucky & i don't envy. You may have parents by your side. well , i don't . But , i still have them in my life. & SO WHAT ? I have much more siblings , i have enough love & cares . & I'M MORE EASILY CONTENTED & THANKFUL THAN YOU. i don't demand , i don't ask for more . I'm not spoilt. i don't wait for others to mop the floor for me when i spilled my drinks. & FYI , I'm not someone that nobody wants. a boyfriend that will never leave... oh well , we shall see . i don't fucking need your fucking sympathy or anyone else's. I don't need. Don't worry, Karma will get you back eventually. Gloat over others sorrow, maybe karma will let you try the same. calling others name, then what do you think you are? HAHAHA .

Sunday ; Nephew Zidane's 1st month celebration.
This child has indeed brought uncountable joys for my family. my ah ma is already a tai ma . fulfilled her wish (: i hope she can be always happy. i hope to have more such gatherings to see her smile. uncle, aunties, cousins, distant relatives, laughter, joy & warmth filled my house. though the kids are noisy, you'll still enjoy the presence of them , their innocence. darling came over too & met majority of my relatives (: & most importantly , My gugu Cum mummy . she took care of me when i was young. & i always remembered how i would ask her to bring me along when she goes out. The times when she watched over us & do our chinese homework. life's short & full of uncertainty . you'll never knoe when you'll be struck down with illnesses. cherish & please keep those beautiful images in your heart. didi fried the wings & nuggets. He fried it well, pretty colour (: did a little of clear up after guests left , watched tv. while er korh drove gwen & darling home, of course didi & i tagged along :D more to clean up after i wake up from sleep later. well, goodnight peeps (:

this was what i feel like saying today: 做人不可以過河拆橋, 要知道不可忘本.

end this post with loves :D
love them all .

last day of holiday lo !

2010-06-27T23:14:00.003+08:00

Sunday ; last day of holiday .
slept till 2plus . sweet darling came over to find me . went for lunch downstairs , then bring darling to marsiling to cut his hair . hehes . back home . bathed & washed toilet . darling had a shower to clean off those hairs . he & didi took turns to play dota . then i helped with clearing kitchen . Zidane nephew's first month celebration will be held next Sunday . then had our dinner at downstairs again & darling went home . that's all for today . school holiday coming to an end . sian ttm ! but can get to see darling in class everyday ! i still want the time to pass faster ! faster finish N level , faster celebrate 18th birthday , faster end this year (:

I'll love you always . & I believe you will do the same .

2010-06-26T23:53:00.003+08:00

Thursday ; Breakfast with ♥
had mac breakfast with darling (: then went his place watch videos & help to pack up his things . then his mum ordered Pizza Hut delivery (: LOL . eat eat eat . becoming pig already ): went home at 11plus .

Friday ; a lovely lunch with didi & darling .
woke up at 10plus . cooked lunch with didi (: we cooked cabbage , tau gua & fried chicken wings . then darling came over to have lunch with us . ♥ ♥ ♥
went over to mum's place & mum went over to granny's place . darling & i fell asleep while didi playing Dota . then mum came home . DURIANS ! wooots . satisfaction :D then left mum's place at 8pm , went back to darling's place to have dinner as darling's mum cooked alot due to fridge clearance . eat & eat & eat again -.- moved some things over to his dad's place . then not long later , home-d .

Saturday ; darling move over to his dad's place .
reached darling's place at 5 plus . watched some videos . doing the final pack up & came over to my place first . then went home at 11plus . love spending my day with darling . darling moved over to his dad's place which is just a block away . hah !

in an blink of eye , holidays are coming to an end . spending my days with darling are more than all that i can ask for . though we might be doing nothing , rotting our day off , not always going out but i just love the way it is . BLISS is the word to describe how i feel . it had never felt this real before . darling made me learn a lot of things . doing things that i never thought i could for him . & my darling boy is really sweet ♥ though being lazy & waiting for me to do things for him at times .but nvm , i dont mind doing for him (: love you a lot a lot , sweet darling !

happy 100 days !

2010-06-23T23:11:00.004+08:00

Happy 100th days together , darling !

& i love you so . i hope that there will always be endless 100days with you .
give & take (: i believe we are doing that well .
when i think of you , my heart just melts (:

2010-06-22T17:03:00.002+08:00

well , currently i'm at darling's place while that pig is sleeping in his lalaland . coming over to find him became a daily routine for me (:

Monday ;
woke up in the afternoon :X went over to find darling , another usual day , home-d .

Sunday ; Happy Father's Day !
whole family visited ahma with dad . brought her out to have lunch together with us . a lunch together with all my dearest really makes my day (: it does breaks my heart when i see granny everytime . helplessly , seeing her in pain but there's nothing we can do . without her , there's no me . she had forgotten about me ):
Sometimes , i do really wonder what is in my dad's mind . thinking of that , it's been years since I've celebrated father's day with him . at times , how i wished that i am still young . only then , i would be daring enough to hug him & say Happy Father's Day to him in his arms . courage dispersed when i see my dad . maybe that's our fate . accept it , we can only be like this , there's always gonna be a distance from him . daddy's no longer ours , he has his own family . he seriously feels like a person who i no longer know . or was it me ? not being filial enough to him ? it's my fault in the past . who else can i blame ? being angry at him , creating chance for that woman to dominate us . i really wished that i could go back in time to undo the mistakes that I've done . People always say there's second chance , but i doubt so . Once wrong , people condemn you though they would say I'll give you another chance . Lies that made you believe that humans are actually superficial . I pray , that my family would really get closer , go through everything through thick & thin . i hope our generation ain't like our previous . but me , i really don't know how to get along with others . it's my pride , i'm too ego ? perhaps , i've been alone & individual for too long . i keep myself to me . & sometimes , to my younger didi . lol , i don't really like socializing . what type of human am I , I wonder ......

Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.

2010-06-18T00:52:00.002+08:00

There are 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, or 31,536,000 seconds in a year. As the seconds tick away, are you wasting time counting seconds or making every second count?

oh , it's has been 3 months since darling & I started . Sometimes , it feels short yet sometimes it feels long . & I'm so grateful that i have him (:

Tuesday 15th June ; our 3rd monthsary !
woke up at eleven plus , bath & prepared , left home to meet darling . went amk hub first , to get tickets for The Karate Kid at 3.20pm . & went to get darling present too (: hope darling likes them ! love darling's surprise ! then went over his place , that piggg♥ was still sleeping . woke him up , used com , helped his mum (: then went out for our movie , & took neo-prints again ! :D :D teeheehees , seriously , can't they change the neoprint machines languages to english ?! grrrr . ahahas . then went back his place , & as usual went home at 10plus . then watched a lil world cup with brothers . world cup fever now yeas , ohmy , i dont used to watch football .

Wednesday ; visit ah ma .
woke up very late in the afternoon because i slept very late the previous night . so didnt go to meet darling . didi & I agreed on visiting ah ma as we didnt visit her for about 2 weeks ? we couldn't recognise her . She became so damn skinny , my heart breaks )': brought her out to eat , bought porridge for her as the nurses removed her dentures & she can't chew well . she had less than a quarter bowl of it . but she enjoys drinking coffee (: we pushed her around for a stroll before sending her back to the home . as usual , my eldest bro would be in the living room watching his soccer . da sao was having fever , so i took care of nephew last night . oh man , so scared of giving birth liao ! every 3 hours wake up drink milk . i'm so tired la , every 15 mins cry one time . make me so lack of sleeps la !

Thursday ; meet darling .
can't even get to sleep , so after feeding nephew his milk at 8plus , i left home . went over darling's place to sleep ! sleep sleep sleep !! woke up at 2plus , used com . had lunch . watched movies . then fall back asleep at 7plus , woke at 9 plus for dinner ! hehes , a nice meal oh ~
hehes , what a fun day (:

sweet darling , you make my day ! it's so killing me when i dont get to see you a day ! you baddy ! love you love you la !

2010-06-15T19:09:00.002+08:00

Darling's 3rd month surprise!

happy 3rd month !

2010-06-15T00:57:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 3rd MONTH !

dearest darling ,
92 days since we have been together ! i really really wish this would never stop . the past month had been kinda rough for us . but it indeed , brought us closer & made our bond stronger . & i wont make the same mistake again . thank you for giving me a chance & didn't let go of me totally . i wanna know more about you like how you wanna know more about me . there are still many things for us to discover together . enjoyed my time spent with you . i feel happy & comfortable with you around me . i sleep so safe & sound with you lying next to me . i can't imagine me without you . is being dependent on you good ? am i too dependent on you ? i can't help it when i doubt , so please bare with me sometime . not doubting you , but me . am i really good for you ? but still , i selfishly want you & don't want you to go . i still find confidence , courage in you like before . i love you always & never wants this to end . once again , happy 3rd month ! let's look forward to the many more months to come !

Shower you with love ,
Pamper you with kisses ,
Assure you with hugs !

2010-06-13T03:27:00.000+08:00

Woke up at eleven plus , bath and prepare , left to meet darling at his place . Packed his stuffs and took circle line to meet his soccer mates at serangoon mrt station . As all reached , we headed to stadium station . Walked over to the cage . On the way , past by kallang leisure park and bought subway for our lunch :) watched darling play soccer till 6pm . 好帅啊! Heehees :D then all squeezed onto his soccer mate's van . Lol twelve people on board a small van ! Lol . Had kfc for our dinner . Then darling and i left first . We took train back . Back to darling's place , caught half a movie and it's time for me to bid goodbye to him and go home . Back home , didi made garlic bread for us to eat . First time in my life , I'm watching soccer with my siblings ! Lol ! I never knew watching soccer could be so addictive . Hahaha ! I love today ! Time spent with darling is so precious ! Love you dearly , piggy darling :D

2010-06-11T00:41:00.008+08:00

WARNING ! photos time .

well , facebook-er might know something happened to us . but well , it's over .
& darling , trust me again . i wont break your promise .

& thanks dear friends , for being there (: Esp Winne Phua ! :D

spent my days with darling as usual for past two days .
we realised , we haven't been going out for quite sometime . so we planned for movie today , with didi & gf .
was supposed to catch the 1pm show at causeway point , but no slots . so we thought we got time for lunch . then went to causeway point at 2.30 . both time slot for karate kid were full . so we walked around causeway point before taking train to dhoby ghaut . on the way , boon ping called & ask if we're interested for mahjong , so we agreed as we have too much time . :X LOL .
we were talking happily & forgot to alight at dhoby to change to NE line . LOL , so we alighted at the next stop & took train to hougang , bus-ed to yirong's place for mahjong . ended game at 7 plus , bus-ed to bugis , Basil Alcove ! for my long waited , all time fav , Shrimp & Orange . went bugis street walk walk , ahahahas . bought a lot of small pant pants -.- hehehes . thanks darling . from there , took train home ! a happy happy day ! love you darling !

2010-06-07T21:15:00.004+08:00

Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and strengthening the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.

i am a strong girl , always had been & always will be . though putting a strong front most of the time , i will still continue to do so .

dear friends , thanks for your concern . i'm okay ... (:

你要走了也带走所有快乐
甜蜜的片段散落

星空在闪烁像你的眼泪悄悄划过
当你放开了手离开的时候
有没有一点舍不得我
泪光在闪烁而我的眼泪忍住不敢坠落
我还留在黑暗中守候
你却已经远远离开我

离开我了梦醒了还剩什麽
我要的幸福消失了
你的心曾经属於我的

那流星闪过我们许下一个愿望
要在一起绝不分离你怎麽放弃了

I'm sorry :(

2010-06-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

Rough days :( gotta be strong . I'm tired to the max :( feeling sick now :'(

today was lack of sleep , yet a hell day and a busy day . Darling , I'm sorry :( missing you extremely much !

2010-06-04T04:00:00.004+08:00

back to post (:

Monday ; went over to meet darling (:
went over to meet darling . played fb games . lol , accompany his mum to buy eggs at hougang alone , while darling stayed home to play his games . had dinner . then darling's dad bought supper for him , something hilarious happened . HAHAHAS , shall skip it . & home-d :D

Tuesday ; the start of painting ~
darling came over to find me after he went school . didi & yupei was also at home . then went civic center to meet my mum while didi send gf to take bus home , went ntuc & home fix to get the painting stuffs . mum came over to house to cook for us (: then just when we were about to start , erkorh's gf came over to help (: managed to finish the first layer . had dinner & mum went home @ 9 pm . & oh no , the paint is oil based . no matter how hard we tried to wash with water , it doesn't come off like other paints . so google is our savior :D we went google and search for how do we remove oil based paint from skin & the answer is pour oil & add salt and rub . Amazingly , it came off (: our poor hands , had contacted with the stupid paint , thinner , bleach , dishwashing liquid & body wash . lol . then darling went home at 12mn . was kinda fun , tiring . but we did learn things .

Wednesday ; second day of painting .
went to meet darling & fetched him over . had lunch at his house downstairs before coming over . (: only me & darling . finished the second layer (: removed all the stains on the floor with thinner . & cleared the mess in the toilet . Lol . was a hell busy day , only managed to totally take break at 11+pm . then darling went home at 12 mn again . left with the cornices . Love darling so much laaa . for helping me so much , had fun with him during painting .

Thurday ; ♥
went over to meet darling in the morning . napped until afternoon then wake up . love the feeling of hugging you & getting hug from you back to sleep (: & waking up , seeing you in front of me . had lunch at darling house downstairs before coming home . was supposed to finish up with the last part of the paintings . but the paint not yet fully dried , lousy paint :X so didnt touch as on it as i'm afraid that the paint would come off when the masking tape is torn off . didi cooked dinner for us (: had dinner & we went downstairs to play badminton (: darling has been asking it for days :/ went home , fell asleep . woke up a hour later, bathed & washed clothes , hanged clothes & here i am , sitting in front of com , blogging.

darling , i love everyday i spend with you . when i see you , a huge smile would appear on my face . my heart longed to see you again right after you leave . & hoping that you dont have to go cause i wanna see you longer . love you so much darling :D sweet sweet ♥

2010-05-31T02:15:00.003+08:00

been too lazy to blog . & i forgot how was my week . so lets start from friday .

Friday ; a day with darling (:
darling came over to find me (: appreciated . treasured & cherished . always had & always will .

Saturday ; busy & tiring day .
woke up in the afternoon . & when er korh reach home , he told me to pack up things in the cabinet . & its like , OMG ... so many cds and cassette . hahahas , whose house at this modern city still actually do have that ? used up almost 9 trash bags to contain all . can you imagine how much money was spent on those ? hahas , then 1 trash bag of medications & first aid stuffs . woo , they are so old , that they all turned yellow . then without discussions & plannings , they suddenly took down the big cupboard ( those type that was stick to the wall ) . was so unbelievable that just the 2 brothers can tear it down . & we girls , erkorh's & didi gfs , took the wood planks to downstairs to discard . & i did something funny yet stupid . i cut the extension wire without switching off the power . & everyone in the house forgot about switching it off . & BOOMS , sparks . for that 3 seconds , i was stunned . then took a step back and screamed . LOL , how stupid can i get ? power tripped . everyone was startled by it too . then spent time scrapping off the silicons on the floor that was used to secure the cupboard . by then , i was hungry to the max as i haven't had anything the whole day . ate , went back home , chatting in the living room . then when erkorh's gf switched off the lights in the living room , power tripped again -.- this time , we couldn't switch it on . so er korh contact the electrician & the electrician guided him through the phone . but still , it doesn't work . so he sent another man down . that man fixed the problem in less than half an hour . and thanks god , if not we all have to spend the night at dont know where lo .

Sunday ; another busy day .
woke up , have lunch . then went to woodlands industrial park to look for paint , but they dont sell it there , bought thinner & wall putty . tried removing the silicon with thinner , but it doesnt work , so i could only stick with use scraper to scrap it off . while erkorh uses putty to cover the cracks on the wall . then moved some things that was in the store room which was under the stairs . stood up & knocked my head hard . & unknowingly , tears sprung out . i was like laughing at my own stupidity yet cant control the tears . brothers asked me was i actually crying or laughing . LOL . wanted to sleep at 7plus , while they went to have dinner . was woken up by erkorh , asking me to have a burger . then used com , chatted with siblings . & erjie came back to sg (:

this is the first time that i didn't see darling for 2 days ): miss darling to the max max ! & i'll love you always . miss you miss you ~~ seeing you few hours later , cant wait !

♡ love is like a roller coaster ride .

2010-05-26T00:13:00.002+08:00

wooots ~ school holidays starts ... but going back to school to collect report book with er korh tomorrow .

Sunday ; family day (:
woke up , went to have breakfast/lunch with er jie , er korh & didi at house downstairs . then went over to woodlands center de sheng siong to replenish our daily use ( soap , detergent , etc ) . then i suggested we should go visit ah ma as we'll be passing by her home . so visited her , brought her out to have lunch :D i hope that she's happy . though , its only a short while & probably , she might forget it soon . then went home , as usual , do household chores , washed the toilet . then had dinner with siblings ((: not a happy day , but a day of quality time spent with family .

Monday ; blues ~
went over to meet darling . love the hug of assurance , sorry for doubting the love :X darling cooked cheese egg for me :D super nice . then went home at night .

Tuesday ; a day @ NYP .
yeahs , and that's our career day ... was late in the morning , so decided to go to Nyp straight instead of going school . took train over . & it's like damn awkward wearing school uniform & entering a poly . plucked up all my courage & walked into it . then i'm like walking in big round -.- & finally met up with my class . walked around , learning about the courses in Nyp , then after that head back to school for classroom clean ups . damn , if only ... i didnt waste my time & can't get over my emotions , i should had been in there . but right now , i just wanna strive hard together with darling . though , i might be slower , but as long as i dont give up , i will still get there . i know i can . i did improve on results , but its still not enough . gotta push myself more ! after school , went point Kfc , had the Ole meal with darling & then go his place . fell asleep while his plays his games . wake up for dinner & home-d :D

Darling ( recently quite commonly used :| ) ,
i love you max . & i wanna go through everything with you . love is like a roller coaster ride . after going through , you'll become braver than you were . vainy pig pig ~ i know everything will be alright for us , pictures of future in my mind & we are gonna strive hard together !

♡

2010-05-22T00:54:00.002+08:00

well , it had been like days since i last posted .
everyday is like the same & i'm loving it , spending it with love !

shall briefly describe this whole week . lazy ttm !
weekdays are so boring , in school . & thank god , holidays are coming up after next week . it felt so boring when we are not learning any new thing . wednesday , darling came over to find me after school as i didnt go that day . supposedly to go back TTSH to remove the sutures , but darling was so tired & fell asleep at my place . spent my yesterday at darling's place . thanks to darling's mum for cooking lunch & dinner for us before going out . called to change the appointment to today . so after school , had lunch at jack's place with darling & his mum , trained to TTSH . & finally , had his sutures removed . then head back to his house , watched movie halfway , we both fell asleep . woke up at 9plus , decided to have dinner . called kfc delivery . lol , ate & went home . lol , so tired recently . thanks to the humid weather . can the weather be like the past few days , so cooling & unlike now , the air is like so stuffy & humid .

i think i'm weird lately . getting sensitive over some thing small ? Lol , ELYN is always random .
Love you darling .

2010-05-17T10:39:00.002+08:00

Today ; woke up late .
thus , i missed the NgeeAnn Poly trip . waiting for darling to end school , then we go watch Losers (:
seeing break-ups around makes me feel scared . be it 1 year , 2 years , 4 years or even 10 years , the ending was not what they visualized right in the first place . so many failed relationship examples , certainly increased my fears . a person gets tired of giving in always . but some people just always take more than they give willingly . a relationship has to give & take to make it work . it needs 2 hands to make a clap . i hope we'll never get tired & keep it working and moving in the direction we wanted . i dont ever wanna lose you , because i cant imagine me without you . orh hor , you die le , cannot run away le hor :X

Sunday ; welcome to this cruel world , my nephew !
had a funny , bad & weird dream which leads to a bad start of the day .
da sao has given birth to a healthy boy . time was spent with family . it has been quite a long time since we sit down & talk together (: had mahjong with brothers in the evening while darling had his mahjong session too with his friends (: didnt get to see darling , miss him to bits .

Saturday ; happy 2nd months !
darling came over to find me (: was doing house chores the whole time . a sense of accomplishment when my room becomes so neat , clean & fresh ! Lol .

overdue photos ; a day @ Ikea with ♥

Happy 2nd month , love !

2010-05-15T01:29:00.006+08:00

Happy 2nd Months ! ♂ ♀

I ♥ you , Ⓓⓔⓢⓜⓞⓝⓓ ! ☺

i love & cherished every moment that i spend with you . i've enjoyed every precious moment i spent with you . & time never seems enough for us .
how i wished we lived nearer & closer to each other .
thanks for making me feel so loved and treasured always .
thank you for being considerate and sensitive to my feelings .
thank you for coaching me , changing me , trusting me , loving me , protecting me , being my 24/7 listening ear , & for making me believe in love once more .
every single simple , small things you did were noticed by me (: thanks for the effort .
this two months seemed passing by fast yet at the same time , slow .
i still remember how it felt when we are feeling in love , how silly we were to keep smiling when we are on phone . i hope this will last & never ends . & i would be your last , & you would be mine . hope you like that card that i've made for you ☻
you are everything that are worth for my changes .
i believe ; you & me , we'll go the distance with more chemistry & love .
Lastly & again , happy 2nd months !
Grats for topping your maths , chem & physics . you are awesome ! love you .

Yours Truthfully & Sincerely ,Ⓔⓘⓛⓔⓔⓝ ⓁⓎⓃ

♡

2010-05-12T23:14:00.002+08:00

had F&N the whole day again , doing coursework . drowned in it & finally , its done . but i feel like redoing the whole research part . & i passed my F&N paper , like so finally . woots . lucky & unlucky today :/ after school , went darling's place , bought food at his house downstairs de coffeeshop . then eat le , train to novena , TTSH . damn the f-ing cramp . damn freaking pain ! then darling re-bandaged his hand , then went back to his place . so tired & fall asleep . woke up , had dinner cooked by his mum & went home . mood swings badly . cramps , go far far away from me please ~
gonna end my night today earlier . so ya , night people , night blog .

a simple i love you everyday .

2010-05-10T23:12:00.002+08:00

sorry for not updating , was lazy . & i'm so lack of sleeps !

Friday ; a day spent with love !
went to visit ah ma , went over sheng siong to do groceries .
darling came over after his operation . watched a jap movie . then i go prepare ingredients , watched how to train your dragon . then cooked at 9 pm , as my siblings end work late . then darling left home at 11 plus .

Saturday ;
woke up in the afternoon , went over to find darling . watched alot of movies , had nap . & darling's dad bought dinner for us .

Sunday ; Happy mama's day !
woke up by sis to have lunch with granny & 7th uncle at causeway point's Dian Xiao Er with didi & er jie too . then back home . darling was saying that he was hungry yet lazy to go out buy food , so i wanted to surprise him by buyinh food over to him , but well , he wasn't surprise as he knows i will do it . Lol . was on phone talking to him asking if he was hungry , if he going out to buy , then suddenly i told him i wanna put the the phone . he asked me why . i told him i wanna go rest , then he say you want come over just say la . ahahas . then keep making a joke out of it . Lols . darling so cute . & my darling de darling very good de :X

Monday ; F & N practical exam .
reached school > assembly > F&N room . for one whole day .
the food turns out quite good ! ahahas , sure pass de lo . then packed the food to darling's place to share with him . watched iron man 1 . i was sleeping most of the time at his place :/

alrights , please pardon me for just briefly going through , i'm lazy :/

love & cherish every moment with you always . it feels fast yet slow at the same time . but most importantly , you make me feel so important to you . love you . 5 more days ~

♡

2010-05-07T12:45:00.002+08:00

Thursday ; Last paper (:
was late for paper due to traffic jam :/ the night before , i mugged until 4 am then sleep . F&N is getting me killed , its a subject that i hate so much & doesn't have any base at all . but i'm sure that i'm gonna pass that paper :D then after that to darling's place , changed , took his health booklet & went amk hub for Ip Man 2 (: nice show , but 1 is better . then went back school , give Ms Neo the health booklet > point for lunch > my place . watched a jap movie on com . then downstairs for dinner . darling left at 10 plus .

darling is currently having his op now , so worried ! & i'm going to cook for darling & beloved siblings for dinner ! omg , scare that the food turns out bad :/

2010-05-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

woke up early though there's no school today , went amk to meet Eva to take F&N textbook from her . Lol , last minute studies . then went over darling's place , & that sweet pig was sleeping . rested awhile . then had our lunch at jack's place with darling , his mum & his mum's friend . lol , me this mountain tortoise first time go jack's place eat :X then went back darling's place , played Hotel City . Lol ~ then left at 6 plus , off to meet didi , erkorh & gf at IMM . then after that to Kallang to collect didi's pay . sit train until scare , so packed in sardine fishes in can . reached home at 10.30 , wow , there goes my night . watch tv awhile , then mopped my room & living room . then bath , & washed toilet . the weather is so darn hot . urghs , i rather it rains everyday . darling finally can play his dota , for a week or so he didnt play it as his com sot sot :/ hehes . he happy jiu hao le . & darling sent me a super long sweet msg (: melts melts melts :D

i enjoy my days with you greatly too ! & like you , i hope this will never end !

♡

Bliss

2010-05-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

♥

Sunday ; a day spent at darling's place .
had breakfast/lunch with dad , got nagged as usual . back home , use com , bath & prepared . went to bai my first mum , then go hougang central as siblings are also going there , took bus to hougang point . bought mac for darling & took bus over to his place . spent our day peacefully , & something funny happened , shall not elaborate into it . started playing Hotel City , Lol . interesting game uhs (:

Monday ; no school :D
darling came over , meet him at downstairs . he walked towards my direction & vice versa . far away , we noticed each other , we immediately had a big big smile on our face . love it ! that was very cute ! had lunch at my house downstairs . then came up , prepared and off we go to Queensway Shopping Center (: took 961 over . darling wanna go there to buy his soccer shoes . The shopping center is known for selling sports shoes . see until headache uhs , so many shops , almost 80% of the first level are all selling shoes . we walked around , looking for different designs & cheaper pricing . but in the end , no matter which shop we went to , we still picked the same pair of shoes . LOL . so went back to the first shop that we went to & bought that shoe . for me , i bought 3 pairs of FBT pants (: hehehehes . like so finally la . thanks darling . then we took 153 to toa payoh & took train to amk . went amk hub , bought a pair of sandals at mondo . wooots , so happy . finally have a pair of sandals to go out after that destroyer dog of mine destroyed my shoes . then went to have dinner & lastly , darling's place . left for home at 8.30pm .

Tuesday ; a wonderful today .
awaken by a bad bad dream ): so happy when i reached school , darling gave me hug (:
had Physics & geography papers until 12 noon , went point to have lunch . bus to amk central , darling went to polyclinic as he was still coughing . then randomly , i suggested going Tampines Ikea . But first , we went amk Ntuc to buy dog food for toto . then to darling's place , he bath & changed , then to my place , i bath & changed . then off we go to our destination by bus 168 (: had dinner there . walked around , picturing our future in our mind :DDD my first time going there with boyfriend , so was his (: the feeling is like oh-so-BLISS ! we were like talking about what furniture was nice , which type of furniture & fittings in our future home . hahahas , that was so sweet to the max . & we keep laughing & smiling to each other . i never thought that it would feel so real , how much i wish for the time to go faster & you could be mine forever c: then went over giant awhile , bus back home . & darling left around 11.45pm . totally love everyday spent together , especially today as today's event was not planned but random !

just you , stay in my life & don't ever walk out .

♡

:D

2010-05-01T23:55:00.002+08:00

woke up late , eyes swollen :/

woke up , bath & prepare , had lunch & went over darling's place .
& so coincidentally , i saw shimin at AMK Mrt station ! so long never see her le ! hugged & bid goodbye . we gotta meet up someday soon !
his mum cooked barley . taste very nice & its very special , first time seeing barley with beancurd skin & ginkgo nut .
then we went to Farrer park de new mall , that Singapore's first eco mall , City Square Mall . & how clever i was to leave my phone at darling's place . nothing special about that mall , less colder than other shopping mall . Lol , that's being more Eco . hahas . walked until leg pain pain ): then train back to darling's place to take my phone . then met darling's dad for dinner . traveled around Amk looking for place to eat , ended up eating at Yio Chu Kang road there de 螃蟹之家 . his dad ate his dinner already so only me & darling eating . we had black pepper crab , oatmeal prawn & dou miao . so filling uhs (: first time this year eating crab , Lol . yummy yummy .
then back to amk , darling sent me back to woodlands mrt station then U-turn back home . so sweet of him right ? :D

hehes , next week . No school on monday , wednesday & friday . shiok !

darling darling darling ~~~ i just love every single moment with you (: thanks for making me feel so treasured :D love you love you love you . miss you to the max la ! few more hours seeing you again !

2010-04-29T14:10:00.001+08:00

i'm back home early today (: had maths & CL listening compre .
back home early as there will be people coming to replace a new door ):
while darling stayed back at school for basketball & went friend's place play mahjong .
& it seems like it gonna rain big soon . what a nice timing to sleep ! then dont need think .

yesterday , after paper , went point for lunch . then to point there de basketball court for basketball with classmates . initially , hid under the shades because i don't wanna go any darker . but end up playing with them . Lol . then bused to darling's place . bath while darling using com . then when he bath , his mum suddenly come home . i got shocked , lol . had dinner at darling's place , his mum cooked .
that time darling came over to my mum's place & ate dinner , i asked him how did it taste . he told me it tasted very home cooked . lol , i finally know why . his mum's cooking were much more healthier and more class(?) dunno how to describe either . But it's nice :D
washed up all the plates . then watched failblog and keep laughing away .
it's such a nice feeling with darling the whole day . it just seems like there's only 2 of us . an insight of future . hahas . i just hope this would last & eventually turn out like how we said would be . i love you deep deep , darling !

2010-04-27T20:34:00.003+08:00

Alright , imma back here again .

Saturday didnt meet darling :/

Sunday , wanted to surprise darling by going over to find him . But , he's not surprise as he expected it :| plan failed .

Monday , Maths paper 1 . well , should be alright . but a lot careless mistakes i think ): after school , lunch in school as it was raining heavily . it seems like only 9 am when it was already 12 noon .

Today , woke up slightly later but managed to reach before paper starts . mother tongue paper 1 & 2 . paper 2 was quite easy ba . wrote quite long for paper 1 . after paper , point for lunch , then bus back home with darling . watched Autumn's Concerto (: revised a lil for ss . tmr ss paper , bang head . hate it ! recently , kind of lazy to update blog :[ i'm getting lazy le wor . i'm so tired . gotta rest earlier tonight . darling , you too !

♥ you bully :X i love everyday spent with you . 明天见 ♥ !

2010-04-23T23:30:00.006+08:00

today had our first paper , English paper . i did the one word question essay , Money .
after that , went point to eat . darling ate porridge while i shared a bowl of chng teng & dragonfruit with him . then took bus over to darling's place . played fb games with darling . i fell asleep while darling played dota . woke up , eat chicken rice . then helped darling vacuum & mop floor . teeheehees . then wiped his computer table & stuffs . hehes . i'm good girlfriend , right ? :X hahas . not long later , darling sent me to mrt station & home sweet home lo .

urghhh! so damn pissed with Toto ! without fail , everytime when i reach home , there's bound to be mess for me to clear . so tired & pissed with it . Bite this bite that -.- & she bite spoil my $35.90 sandals from Charles & Keith , my $49.90 heels from DMK . now , no slipper to go out le ): URGH ! what dog is that ? DESTROYER !!

! hguone reven saw uoy htiw tneps emit &
:D taht sa elpmis sa , uoy evol i , gnilrad
:) skcuam ! tsal ym eb

2010-04-22T20:21:00.002+08:00

it has been days since i've updated . was lazy ...

Well , Trial Exams are around the corner . Time to mug hard .
so tired lately , i think i'm lack of iron . Lol , see that's the use of learning F&N :X
i love my life right now . a loving & caring boyfriend . siblings always there .
& most importantly , gotta find time for ah ma .

yesterday had english oral exam . Lols , was the last 2 to take -.- wait so longgg .
after that , head home with darling . then darling went off at 8 plus . dunno why just dont feel like having dinner , so skipped it (:

today after school , took bus back to woodlands with darling . Had Kfc buddy meal , first fastfood of the week (: more healthy :D darling's cough still haven't go away ): well , gonna rest early tonight , make sure i got ample rest :D darling , you too uhs .

Darling , i love you . i want you to be my only too :D

Cherish

2010-04-20T23:19:00.002+08:00

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. you will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. you'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. you'll fight with your best friend. you'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. so take as many pictures, laugh as much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Cherish.

Treasure & Cherish while you still can .

2010-04-18T23:44:00.002+08:00

Treasure & Cherish while you still can . Life is so unpredictable .

Just 3 days ago , i visited ah ma on Thursday . She seemed so fine . She still can smile at me , talk so much with me . But today , visited her at the home , she seems so restless . She don't drink , don't eat , don't smile , don't talk as much , don't respond as much . It hurts me so bad to see her like this . I tried so hard to control my tears infront of her . I failed . I tried feeding her water , but she don't want to swallow . When i walked over to her & greet her . She asked me ' why are you here ? ' I was shocked . I then felt how disappointed & abandoned she was . I don't want her to feel that way . well , at least she recognized me . then went back home . totally broke down after i left & cried in da korh's arm .

walked over to civic center to pay hp bills with erkorh & didi , went to return books . luckily , i remembered to return as today due date , if not darling gotta pay fine :/ then rest awhile . took cab over to fetch gugu & husband to visit ah ma again .

this time . she can't recognize me ): alot people visited her . dad , 5th , 6th , 7th , 8th uncle all got visit her today . so saddening . she cant eat on her own . i feed her porridge & her medicine . have to constantly shake her to wake her up as she keep dozing off with food in her mouth . she is like a kid now ): & she said , she wanna go home . it really breaks my heart . she's alright a moment , and the next moment , she's not alright . )))))))))))))):
took cab back home , meet didi downstairs for dinner . & dunno why didi like very emo , its unusual to see him like that , breaks my heart . asked him & he didnt wanna tell me why . ooo... today a lot of heart breaking things happening . & then mum called , and she was crying . oh my , how many times a day can i survive through all these heart wrenching stuffs ?

My dearest ah ma ;
she took care of me since i was young , since i was a baby . she never fails to protect me . she never fails to shield me when 8th uncle wanna beat me . she was there whenever i need her when i was young . she feeds me , bath me , care for me , cook for me , worry for me . she was always there . even when i was running fever in the middle of the night . she took care of me the whole night , wiping me with ice water & everyone tells me that she cared the most for me . now , she cant even eat on her own , its my time to feed her back . & i realised how much patience she has . she can't recognize me , on and off . i wanna do anything i can for her . i dont wanna leave with any regrets , i wanna spend more time with her . without her , there's no healthy me . I'm so grateful to her . i pray , please let my ah ma live longer , at least witness my marriage . please , i pray that ah ma wont forget me . & i hope she would be happy . i dont wanna see my ah ma suffering !

i love you . i miss you , darling !

2010-04-18T00:36:00.002+08:00

To ever pick it up, you've got to be prepared to lose it.

Friday ; couple date (:
ended school & extra lessons at 2plus . Hahas , darling is my private tutor . then went point mac , darling ate double cheese burger while i have Mc flurry (: then we took our own sweet time to kovan as didi was still preparing . walked around , waiting for didi & his gf . played pool (: & i can only say i deteriorate a lot a lot ): after that , had dinner . and as usual , i only eat hokkien mee at kovan . then we went to mum's place together (: then bused back to woodlands , & darling took train back .

Saturday ; scared by darling :/
woke up at 12plus afternoon , use com , do household chores , wash laundry . as darling was reaching , i unlocked the door then went back to balcony to hang the laundry . halfway , got shocked because darling came in without a sound & hug me from behind . my reaction was funny . lol , then spent our day watching Autumn's Concerto . then dinner , back home , revised Chemistry . then send darling to Mrt station , like finally , as i dont have to walk Toto & can pei him till mrt station (: love darling lots lots !

a simple 'i love you' everyday . that fear of losing you , you wouldn't understand .

Happy 1st month !

2010-04-15T00:00:00.002+08:00

Happy 1st month , darling !

time past fast , it will just like yesterday when we got together .
i loved that feeling back then till now . from close friends to couple now & hope it remains .
i could never forget how silly we were when we think of each other and smile .
i'm grateful to the motivational course that got us closer .
& its not the course that motivated me , but you .
you gave me strength to let go & face up to the realities .
you gave me hope , which i finally think that the world is still not so bad .
you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help .
there's so much so much that i wanna say . yet words cant describe them all .
i hope that i can be the best that you'll have . because you are the best gift that i had ever receive . we are always together , school , after school , weekends .
& thanks for coaching me . i love you more & more as each day passes .
because you are getting sweeter & sweeter each day .
I love you for many reasons . Big and small . And all of them are wonderful .
I love you for the things you do . That brings much special meaning to my life .
I love you when the silent times . When your eyes and arms tell me all that i want to know .

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, boy
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it through every storm
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes

2010-04-13T23:59:00.002+08:00

alright , back to update as darling is complaining that i didn't blog .

Sunday;
woke up at 7am , went to pay respect to ancestors with dad . Had breakfast with dad . Love the moment that i spend time with him only . Was in high spirits for almost the whole day . & as usual , either i'm super happy or sad , i would do household chores . Felt so proud of myself :D i fixed the leaking pipe below the basin . didnt know how to , so keep on trying & trying . then washed the 1st level toilet . Next , sweep the floor so many times to ensure that it is really clean , hate it cause i keep dropping hair & so does toto , she kept dropping hair too . then mopped the floor . mopped the living room so many times to totally clean toto's urine -.- swept & mopped erkorh's room . swept & mopped the stairs too . it took almost the whole of my afternoon , because i really want a clean clean environment . & recently , i think i got jie pi , i keep wanting to keep everything CLEAN . wanted to give darling surprise de , but failed ): met him for dinner . Had Pepper Lunch for dinner @ Amk Hub . & so angry with him , because he slept 5am in the morning . So punished him by taking lots & lots of photo . LOL . then darling sent me home & went home at 11plus .
Monday;
reported to school at 7.30am instead of 9.30 . took attendance and went point to have mac breakfast (: then as usual , after school , darling came over . Went popular to buy stationery.
Had dinner & did physics . Darling went home at 10 plus .
Tuesday;
school as usual . the weather is getting us killed , so humid . after school , went point to eat at Kfc , went back school , darling played basketball . returned home at 5 plus , facebook-ed , studied physics , had dinner with darling . darling went back at 10plus . then finally , i'm touching on my FandN . got motivated by teacher , and i wanna let them 'drop their spects' , Lol . so tired tired ...
i'm sorry , i'm too lazy to elaborate :/& i gotta praise Toto as she knows how do do her business on the newspaper (:

♥ 2 more days . it seem so long with you that actually it was just going to be one month . thanks for the changes in you for me , darling . really appreciate & cherishing it . i love you more than you can imagine . thanks for everything , making me believe & change for the better . you are so too good to be true . But , i know you are true :D love you ! Addicted to you ~ you are my drug , the best drug ever .

2010-04-11T02:26:00.003+08:00

wellwell , was lazy to update .
had body aches for days after thursday . well , it proved that i'm old & useless . lol , the basketball kills .
Thursday ; darling did not go school .
was so bored without him . played basketball during recess again . LOL . after school , stayed back to finish up the CDL project . & darling was like so enjoying , after the trip to tts , he went for facial . hehes . vainy ~ :P then went to meet him at his place .
Friday ; was not late (:
an usual day . after school , had extra lessons . during break , played a little basketball & soccer . tried to head the ball . ouch , so pain & giddy . LOL . then back to home (: darling stayed till 12mn then go take train .
Saturday ; my boyfriend is a pig ...
he woke up at 3pm , came over at 4pm , while i went to prepare . left my house at 5pm . sweet darling came over to fetch me just to go Hougang to play mahjong with his friends . hehehe , love you ! hehehehes , won $32 . had dinner & took bus home . darling send me home :D & he left at 12mn again . well , gonna go sleep soon . few more hours need wake up for 'qing ming' , go sao mu . oh , so tiring ! but as a form of respect to my ancestors , i must go . hehes .

4 more days ♥ kekekes , i ♥ you ! time with you is never enough . & i'm not sick of repeating these words , i'm gonna say everyday ! don't you dare to get bored with it ! i miss you once you are not beside me . thanks for being so sweet always :D

2010-04-08T01:33:00.000+08:00

Alright , I'm using my phone to update my blog . Just a short post before i head for my dream land . Today is a super uber tiring day . Had PE lessons , did napfa . Can you believe it ? eileen did it . Had A for incline pull up , shuttle run . B for sit up and standing board jump . After school , had maths extra lesson . After that , did the CDL project . Then played basketball with classmates and darling (: hahas . Was the opposite team with darling & i did scored . Hehes , fell down . Darling rushed over :D was so tired can ? Left school at six . Then came back home with darling . i feel like killing toto ! She anyhow 方便 . Grrrs ... Cleared up her mess , while darling went to bath . Then , my turn . So tired yet i still have to clean up when reach home ): watched 下一站,幸福 (: dinner , darling left at 11:30 . Darling wont be attending school tmr , finally going back to tts for his hand check up . Pestered him to called for appointment (:
我爱你! I know i meant alot to you (: & this would last . Muacks !

2010-04-06T22:19:00.002+08:00

well , this is the 201th post of this blog . had deleted alot of post previously , gotta find time & delete again .

& i should say Toto vandalized alot of things at home ! arghhh . she keeps biting & biting . grrr ! but she's so cute at times , like only when she obeys . she responds to " sit " & " hand hand " . hehehes . not bad lehs , she's only 2 months old (:

alright , 3 days didnt blog already . well , spent my everyday with darling .
sunday , went to bai my first mum with da jie , da jie fu , er jie , er korh . after that , went back home first , then proceed to visit ah ma . then er korh treated us all for dinner , including darling (: hehehs .
monday , school as usual . after school went compass , had claypot rice . then back home with darling .
today , not feeling well :/ darling came over to look for me :D Love you , darling .

time is never enough with you ♥

♥ 15032010

人： 很容易写，但是很难做。

回到最原始的我。

Happy 19th birthday!

A side of me.

Every 15th of the month. I still.

Overwhelmed by sadness.

Trust is like an eraser, it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake made.

When it comes to love.. Never say never & never say forever.

友谊之上，恋人未满。

a year has been gone.

reminiscence

History in the making!

whee~

another week's gone~

worst week in 2011

when everything is about you

sleeping pills, anyone?

what do i want?

another week has just swept past~

A successful relationship requires one to fall to in love over and over again, but always with the same person.

scars.

She's not perfect

Welcome 2011~

when words can't express how you feel.

a busy busy day!

goodbye.

you would never understand.

i deserve better.

sorry for wasting anyone's time on me

happily never after...

happy 7th monthsary!

Life's good, finally.

ENDURE!

where's the love?

GET OUT !

HAPPY 6TH MONTH !

a long post

random

当你

happy happy weekends~

More than happy.

♥

FEAR

urge

busy buffet weekends!

People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

last day of holiday lo !

happy 100 days !

Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.

There are 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, or 31,536,000 seconds in a year. As the seconds tick away, are you wasting time counting seconds or making every second count?

happy 3rd month !

I'm sorry :(

♡ love is like a roller coaster ride .

♡

Happy 2nd month , love !

♡

♡

Bliss

♡

:D

Cherish

Treasure & Cherish while you still can .

To ever pick it up, you've got to be prepared to lose it.

Happy 1st month !

人：很容易写，但是很难做。